It was only a few shandies

Outside the White Horse pub (or Sloaney Pony, as it's affectionately known), Parsons Green, south-west London, 10pm last night:

Polly: Where's your scooter?
Me: It's just over there.
Emma: Ooh, can I have a ride?
Me: I haven't got a spare helmet!
Emma: Doesn't matter, I only live 100 yards away, and it's all quiet streets...
Me: But that's so illegal!
Emma: oh go on...
Me: No!
Emma: It'll be my problem if I fall off...
Me: Hmm, well...
Emma: (smiles one of those infuriating feminine smiles, all fluttering eyelashes and pouts)
Me: Well, hold on tight and don't yelp or scream or try and put your feet down, okay?

So we head off down the road, round the corner, and stop outside her house. All in about 20 seconds. Only as she gets off the bike...(cont)

do I notice the police car that's been sitting there, watching us...

To cut a long story short, Emma (who is the one committing the crime, as it turns out) gets a ticking off, but no fine. I, on the other hand, get checked out on the radio (makes me feel like a proper criminal! Woo!), and get breathalysed! It's my first time (aaw), and the police are very nice about it. I, of course, am bricking myself, as I have just been in the pub. Fortunately, I know my limits (or at least my theoretical limits - this was the first time they were to be proven - or otherwise), and had only had a couple of pints, and weak ones at that.

And so it proved. I was given the green light (which, confusingly, means "I have had a drink, ossifer, but I'm well under the limit, hic"), and sent on my way with a cheery wave, as the coppers depart with the knowledge that by now, they're well into overtime.

So that was a wake-up call and a half! They left me with the white tube you blow into as a memento, which is now on what would be my mantlepiece if I had one as a reminder to never, ever risk getting close to the limit. And that goes for you too, kids out there everywhere.

This was a public service announcement. Now wash your hands.

Posted by biondino at July 18, 2002 04:25 PM