In the last week I have managed to accrue £70 of fines. Whut? I am law-abiding and sensible with money (ahem). Don't the fuzz have better things to do than ruthlessly hunting me down for non-return of video cassettes (a bit of a problem, this one, as I can't find them anywhere)?

Anyway, as a result, I'm in a bad mood. I suppose my parking fine is fair in the letter of the law, if not in the spirit, and I guess Barclaycard had a late payment surcharge of £20 somewhere in the small print, but sigh anyway. Why does this have to happen now? Aren't I maudlin enough, you bastards?

It becomes even more necessary to beat C***play in the pub quiz this week. Knowing my luck, Starsailor will be in the house, all brandishing PhDs from Harvard :(