Continuing in a sporty theme, last night I couldn't sleep. Happily, there was baseball on the telly! My passion (wrong word - my sleepy affection might be better) for baseball was born in the hideous summer of 1997, when I was recovering from losing a girlfriend to mental illness and a job to my own arse-elbow confusion. I was a bit down, and it gave me trouble sleeping.
However, I discovered that Channel 5, lord love 'em, had started broadcasting major league baseball from midnight to 3am on Sunday and Wednesdays, I think. And for some reason, when I was lying there in my gloom and panic, the sight of burly men hitting the occasional ball, scratching their nuts and chewin' tobaccy, combined with statistical mumbo-jumbo I actively enjoyed not understanding, proved the most relaxing antidote to my woes. I've loved it ever since.
I'm even, heaven forfend, beginning to understand it. However, some aspects still baffle me, so I've attempted to make sense of a couple of phrases for any other baffled viewers who might be passing by.
Fielder's Choice - tasty home-baked loaves eaten during breaks
Short Stop - a coy euphemism for a toilet break
ERA - how long it takes a particularly dull game to finish
A-Rod - used to unclog the drains in case of in-game downpours
RBI - Repetitive Batting Injury
Sac Bunt - a painful condition caused by tight baseball trews
Am I close at all?
Posted by biondino at September 16, 2002 11:59 AM