Hey up,
I have bugger all to say, but Marianna has threatened violence if I don't update today. And my highlights have been...
I went swimming! Unfortunately there was a retard in my lane, who kept following me across the 4 lanes available until I had no option other than to splash water in his face. It felt great! I was never a bully at school, but I might have to start late.
Actually, that's not strictly true. When I was 8 I was called to the headmistress's office with three or four of my friends and give a stern lecture for bullying Charles Crichton Stuart (I'm putting his name in full as I'm curious as to the potential of a Google search). I don't think we actually did, though I'm bad enough at dealing with the truth (the truth? I can't handle the truth) twenty years later. Anyway, we were threatened with the dreaded wooden spoon! The wooden spoon!!
I wish Alan Partridge didn't remind me so much of myself. Don't even ask me to go into that.
was the idea that you actually got *beaten* with the spoon. Where? On the hand? On the bottom?
Posted by: Mark H on December 3, 2002 10:20 AMOn the bottom, I think. Or possibly they were going to put us to work in the kitchen.
Posted by: Mark on December 3, 2002 12:09 PMthe wooden spoon! aaah! this is what my mom threatened us with when we were bad. (though i was never bad, of course...). and then one day when we were teenagers my mom brought home this giant wooden spoon she'd bought on sale somewhere and when we (my brothers and i) walked into the kitchen and saw it, all our jaws dropped even though we hadn't been threatened with a wooden spoon for ages. it was quite a good falling-down-on-the-kitchen-floor-in-fits-of-laughter moment. :)
robyn
p.s. i do not understand alan partridge for i do not know the necessary cultural referent. but you certainly don't look like him. unless you've started smiling all smarmy-like...
My brother and I used to get the wooden spoon as children. You know, it's not nearly as bad as it sounds, due to the fact that both the handle and head are fairly slight and can't therefore trouble the behind too much unless wielded with extraordinary ire.
On the last occasion, I remember, my brother and I looked at one-another and just LAUGHED, and that was the end of that. It's the best way to halt anyone in mid-action - make them feel ridiculous.
Works particularly well on flashers and Communists.
NP x
Posted by: Nicholas P on December 4, 2002 01:29 PMBeing the posh, pampered, only child that I am, my only childhood-punishment threat was that I might be beaten with a sack of potatoes.
No, really.
Oh, and see y'all in a couple of days, and so forth.
G
Posted by: Greg on December 4, 2002 11:52 PM