I cried today, at a Cancer Research advert. The one where loved ones fade out of the picture as their husband, son or parent looks on with baffled sadness on their face. Blast these emotionally manipulative messages!

I also steamed today. Playing football in the cold + my lack of top-end coverage + my proclivity to sweat through my head made me look like a rounder version of the summit of Canary Wharf. I also noticed the seat of my moped steaming as I got off on my return home. I am HOTT, evidently, and have a HOTT BUTT. And I'm STEAMY. Rowr.

NOT steamy, however, is Christina Aguilera. I saw her "Dirrty" video on MTV today in a section called "Sexy Celebrities". Justin? Yeah, why not. He's better than Robbie Williams, anyway. Kylie? I think the concensus is positive, though I can never forget the teeth. But is it really sexy to practically see someone's kidneys??

(answer = not always no, obviously, but when the object in question is a crack-whore tranny who got lucky, then ick ick ick!)