Dudes.

A little vice of mine is watching fishing shows. Sarah uses the multitudes of cable TV to watch crime dramas; I watch brash midlanders land tench in the wet bits of Staffordshire.

But tonight, some guy goes in search of the biggest freshwater fish in the world. I can't remember what it's called, only that it sounds like a cocktail and it lives in the Amazon. Great, I think, some big fish, and man proving his superiority.

Hardly. The programme has only just started when the fucker HAS A PLANE CRASH IN THE MIDDLE OF THE JUNGLE. Maybe this has happened to you a lot; being in a plane crash is about the most primal and oft-imagined of my fears, so it was quite incredible watching the film of this light aircraft crashing through the canopy. And even more incredible that they all survived.

I gave up at that point. A big fish, even a *really* big fish, just wouldn't have cut it.