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Wednesday, January 30, 2002

Gelatin mold!

Gelatin mold? Yes. I said gelatin mold. You see, I'm thinking about throwing a Bridge Party. Except only one person I know actually knows how to PLAY Bridge, so instead we'd have to play Hearts or something equally ridiculous. And we would eat sandwiches cut in the shape of hearts and clubs and spades and diamonds. And we'd have to have a multi-layered jello tower (one of the layers would, of course, be spiked with Stoli). If I could make one of those roasts where all the bones have little paper chef hats on them, I'd do that too. And for the piece de resistance... a BARBIE CAKE.

Faggots of the world, eat your hearts out!

The only glitch is that I don't have a Barbie doll. But (shamefacedly) I do have four other Barbie-type dolls. What can I say, I was neglected as a child. So who should go in the cake? Geri Halliwell? Rachel S Club 7 (She's electronic, no dice!)? Or one half of Japanese pop-star duo Puffy Ami Yumi?? Who wins it? Which caketopper will reign supreme?

Also, can we talk for a minute about those terrifying candles shoved into that cake?? Mine won't be like that. Just for the record.

Posted at 04:02 PM

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