« TiVo sells me out | Main | Dead Like Me »

Wednesday, July 16, 2003

Oh. Hey.

I kind of forgot about this thing. I guess I have a tendency to mentally blog things while walking around, but then I lose interest before I have a chance to jot them down. So anyway, here's another installment of 100 30-something More Things to Do When You're Not Blogging.

1. Try to grok many-to-many relationships in a Filemaker database by spending a whole day looking up the topic on Google. Get accused of group-orgy-sex-type-perversion by officemate. Leave early. Shop for shoes.

5. Watch some 14 year olds sing "Attack" by The Toys while an actual member of The Toys watches from the audience. Reflect on the nature of circularity, and the circularity of nature. Go outside and smoke a cigarette. Watch some dude in a toupee try to hit on a short, fat blond lady with the brilliant pickup line "Hey, are you Elie Greenwich?" Cackle, but only internally.

10. Giggly maniacally while shredding stuff in new Michael-Graves-for-Target shredder. Wonder about the people on Amazon who reviewed it and said it didn't shred things fast enough. Do they work for Enron?

12. Inexplicably find oneself in the pro-cucumber camp after thinking for several years that one was a card carrying anti-cuke.

13. Stare at the ".rtfd" files that OS X apps use as READ MEs and think it stands for "read the fucking document".

14. Watch Britney Spears eat two cheese plates in the outdoor cafe adjacent to one's place of business whilst wearing a hideous green corduroy hat.

15. Clarify that it was Britney wearing the hat and not you, the omniscient narrator type.

16. Don't answer the phone at work. Don't listen to the voicemail at work. Catch up every few days and notice that almost every single message is for RYAN in the BOOKKEEPER'S OFFICE (aka Not Me) and not BRIAN in the BOOKING OFFICE (aka Me).

19. Feel somewhat relieved that Ryan in the bookkeeper's office has quit his job to join the circus.

20. Feel a little saddened that Ryan in the bookkeeper's office has quit his job, because he's pretty damn cute and has really covetable shoes.

21. Tool around on Friendster like a dorky sheep. Look up all the cute boys around your age in your state, just for kicks. Notice that your boyfriend is doing the same thing. Furrow brow.

25. Say something pithy and kind of quotable in an AIM conversation. Notice that after several minutes pass, Laura Llew has stolen it to use in one of her posts. Thank heavens that it means you won't have to blog it yourself.

28. Get peeved at your favorite local cafe for closing on *every single holiday* and raising prices to the point where they're serving a lamb shank that costs as much as one at Babbo. Send telepathic vibes at cafe while walking past every evening on way home, to hopefully remind them that they are in JERSEY FUCKING CITY.

31. Go to the same cafe a few times anyway and eat lots of serrano ham & brie sandwiches. Get way overcaffeinated on iced coffees and smoke too many cigarettes.

34. Tool around on Friendster again. Find two of the neighborhood boys you like to stalk. Memorize their likes and dislikes in case it ever comes in handy. Snort.

38. Ogle Cillian Murphy's bits in 28 Days Later.

39. Start writing some stupid long blog entry thing. Spend several days fiddling with it (Sweaty, sweaty, gross days). Peter out around part #39. Post it anyway, before your blog traffic trails off to ZERO.

Anyway, I'm back. Swear. Going to see Laura Cantrell in Madison Square park tonight, or wherever the heck she's playing. More later. Maybe.

Posted at 04:25 PM

Comments

001. msfaustus

it's a shame that britney was wearing such an ugly hat. i hear that her greatest wardrobe bonus of late is a page six six six tee. well, that and wearing colin farrell in her lap. i know i'm jealous. but if you'll excuse me, i must go run and finish reading the online episode guide for 'what's happening now.' who knew urban plight could be so darn funny?

Posted at 11:17AM on Thursday, July 17, 2003

002. Ll

Yes, don't think of it as me stealing your bloggables think of it as me keeping your precious pinky finger from cramping by having to type.

Thoughtful of me, yes?

Posted at 10:57PM on Thursday, July 17, 2003

003. Tim

Wow, I'd almost given up hope of you posting again Brian. And I'm glad you clarified that point about the hat, I was ready to write you off as a fashion disaster, but you escaed in the nick of time!

Posted at 08:30AM on Sunday, July 20, 2003

Post a comment

Name:


Email Address:


URL:


Enter Security Code Number:


Comments:


Remember info?