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Saturday, July 26, 2003

boro6 + gawker type red alert, yo!

I rode home on the PATH train last night with Ky*n Dougl*s from Queer Eye. My blogless pal Laurel *did* tell me a few days ago that he used to live upstairs from her at the really rather metrosexually glamorous corner of Jersey & Newark Avenues on the cusp of the Historic Downtown Shopping District of Jersey City. But I figured he would have left our burg for greener pastures once, you know, his show was on TV following Friends. Maybe he's waiting to break his lease once the Nielsen ratings come in on Monday morning.

He was clad in whiskered jeans and flip flops (gasp, fag in jeans & flip-flops, alert the media), an inside-out t-shirt (?) & (double gasp) an extraordinarily passé trucker hat reading Von Dutch. He had an iPod clipped to his belt, clutched a Barneys bag and displayed his abnormally developed delts every time he bent over on the platform.

For those of you who have not had the "pleasure" of riding the PATH train, the platform at 9th Street is generally 20 to 25 degrees hotter than the cement-and-metal heat reflector that is lower manhattan. While most of the passengers last night were melting & dripping & generally wilting, Kyan, naturally, merely glowed and appeared slightly moist. The fucker.

Once we boarded, only one other fag on the train totally double-taked. Everyone else kept their noses in the Lovely goddamn Bones (it's not a very long book, people, and its been out for AGES. WILL YOU PLEASE FINISH IT ALREADY?).

I tried to follow the alphaqueer off the train once we got to Jersey City but he eluded my stalkage. Which is impressive since I like to think of myself as at LEAST a Diana-Rigg-Talented-Amateur status stalker. I think he slipped into a liquor store while I was casually lighting a cigarette on the traffic island, actually.

Don't worry, I'm on the case. I'll get him next time.

Posted at 11:13 AM

Comments

001. ree

i'm more of a ted girl, myself... but wow, i forget that in new york you actually see (semi)famous people. i want to get christiaan on the show as the "straight" guy, if only to get our apartment re-done. but wouldn't cza look totally hot in some diesel jeans? mwah!

Posted at 01:43PM on Saturday, July 26, 2003

002. Your mother

See? One more reason to quit smoking.

Posted at 05:19PM on Saturday, July 26, 2003

003. Laurel

Re: Lovely Bones, it's not even a particularly *good* book -- not like there's any excuse to read it more than once (if that). But I must admit it reprints about once a month.

Also, if my corner is so dadblamed "metrosexually glamorous", how come I can't find a nice accomodating flambo to room with me for August? Anyone? Anyone? See email above.

Posted at 03:14PM on Sunday, July 27, 2003

004. Tim

I've no idea who this Kyan Douglas guy is, but the fact that you're on the case means that I can sleep easy at night B ;-)

Posted at 06:58PM on Wednesday, July 30, 2003

005. L. B. Tripi

Obsessed with Kyan (no, not "cayenne", or heaven forbid, kee-yon), I found your comments, and am transfixed by your word choices. Love/love/love it!

My theory is that Kyan is not one of "us". I know he's only eye-candy for the show (please, how to apply hair gel? Cologne? Shaving? Not exactly as challenging on re-design of a whole home or fashion overhaul.) He doesn't register on my g-dar, goddamnit. Any thoughts? Any evidence? Can you stalk and find out if I give you a dollar?

Paranoia, I have, but I also work for the feds so I know it's real.
Blessings,
LB
Cleveland, OH. Yes, really.

Posted at 12:34PM on Friday, August 01, 2003

006. me

Yeah, I don't really get it. He doesn't even do the actual haircuts. He is, however, much less useless than Jai, who seems to just break things in the apartments & instruct people to sit up straight.

As for the not-tripping-the-gaydar thing...c'mon, the man has a degree from the Av*da School of Beauty! Plus my dear Blogless Laurel (as she shall forevermore be known) has, I believe, seen him in flagrante delicto. So to speak.

Did anyone catch that last week's "marriage proposal" episode was filmed in Jersey City? Mm, Jersey pride.

Posted at 02:19PM on Friday, August 01, 2003

007. sam

A trucker hat? I thought they were supposed to have taste on that show.

Posted at 11:34PM on Sunday, August 03, 2003

008. Alicia

So who's hotter? Kyan Douglas, or Duncan Sheik? And who's straighter? Hell, which one's straight period?

Posted at 04:32PM on Monday, August 04, 2003

009. James

Kyan's taste in trucker caps prob'ly stems from the same voices that urged him to join Interact in high school.

Posted at 05:41PM on Monday, August 04, 2003

010. Laurel

I don't recall ever seeing Kyan in any state of undress. His then-boyfriend, however, once let me in (I'd lost my key) wearing a fluffy white cotton bathrobe. And oh yes, I always maintained that the two of them WERE the cutest boys in Jersey City. Upstairs from me. And gay...together. Bah and also humbug.

Posted at 08:55PM on Monday, August 04, 2003

011. SJ

Laurel...sorry to be a pest, I found this a couple days ago and can't resist asking what Kyan is like. Was he a nice guy when he lived above you? Can you give any details?

Posted at 10:09PM on Monday, August 04, 2003

012. meg danger

hey brian, when you do successfully stalk him, can you truss him up and bring him to brooklyn for me? i'll lend you the rope...