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Wednesday, April 21, 2004
People I will not miss when we move to New Hampshire:
1. Anyone who, on the SECOND NICE DAY OF THE YEAR, is already tanner and thinner than Mischa Barfin'. Especially boys.
2. Ugly teenage mom in Jersey City supermarket wearing "If your dick was as big as your mouth, maybe I'd be interested" t-shirt and complaining about peanut butter.
3. Wallace Shawn, who was blocking the aisle in Citarella for what seemed like hours when all I needed was a fucking head of lettuce.*
4. Guy who tried to rob a girl and steal her bike outside my apartment at midnight last night, only to be soundly beaten by the entire population of the block who came streaming out of their apartments to kick his ass.**
5. My next door neighbor who ran out of his apartment to kick the robber's ass. Because he was wearing tiny black panties when he did it. Consider me scarred for life.
* This actually happened weeks ago, but I am still stewing over it. Where's the iocaine powder when you really need it?
** This was actually totally awesome. JC vigilante justice!
Posted at 04:56 PM | Comments (10)
Friday, April 16, 2004
What a Fearful Thing is the Imagination of a Teen
Posted at 12:10 PM | Comments (0)
Saturday, April 10, 2004
Still wearin' that Blogger t-shirt.
We took little Will to the city today to see the flowers at Macy's and the petting zoo in Central Park. It was exhausting, but he's at a pretty fun age.
But the best part was spying on Kottke at the Whole Foods in the Time Warner MegaloUltraMall. Drinking red soda. Wearing his Blogger shirt. Eating with his mom.
Posted at 03:57 PM | Comments (2)
Friday, April 09, 2004
Made of high-quality Archduke Johann
From now on, I am only going to wear clothing from the House of Habsburg. Don't tell me stag-leather underwear is anything less than a necessity in the harsh New England climes that await me! Live free or die!
Posted at 11:10 PM | Comments (2)
Tuesday, April 06, 2004
Dear the James Schwarz Who Lives Within 150 Feet Of Our Apartment and Uses iTunes,
Thanks for the Small Factory, Jonathan Richman, Lucinda Williams, Wilco, Pedro the Lion, Uncle Tupelo, Scud Mountain Boys and PJ Harvey albums. Oh, and by the way, we will badmouth you under our collective breath & I will continue to rob you blind with getTunes for as long as you continue to ride on our wireless network. Unless you are the cute skinny married guy from across the road, in which case I say "hey, let's be friends".
Love, Brian
p.s. the SECOND Small Factory album? Like, three people bought that record. WHO ARE YOU??
Posted at 12:38 AM | Comments (4)
Monday, April 05, 2004
Glasses on! Hair down! No, No, let's try hair down, glasses off!
Balboa Observer-Picayune's "The Quotable Bluths", a site with great quotes from Arrested Development, the best network sitcom this year by far.
Unsurprisingly, they're not nearly as funny out of context. Oh well.
Posted at 05:22 PM | Comments (0)
Saturday, April 03, 2004
More Counting.
Number of years between the first taking of my written driver's test and the actual getting of my permit: 11.5 years.1
Number of root canals I have to get next week: 2.
Number of grocery shopping lists my cat, Alice, has eaten today: 1.
1 Also, I should note that I am currently the record-holder for Fastest Written Test Takerer in Hudson County. Go me.
Posted at 08:23 PM | Comments (3)
Thursday, April 01, 2004
Count.
Number of days the bf has been in the midwest: 1
Number of teeth I have broken since he left: 0 1.
I hope there isn't a linear trend going on here--he's going to be gone for three more days.
