minka

trouble magnet

So you know how I've been going on about how I want to date one of my managers. Well, it's happened. The other day I was so utterly miserable that I walked into the managers office, closed the door, and laid it on the table. By it I mean my predicament. I said something along the lines of, "Look, I can't work with you anymore. I'm really, really attracted to you." And he looked stunned and horrified and I was like, oh shit this is going to be so bad. Then he finally said, "Well, I don't think that it's a secret that I'm attracted to you too." I was like, um, well I was hoping so but oh the relief. So then he proceeded to explain that he has a bad history with women and I should run away now and it will never work and if we did date he'd give me about four months before i started "hating him" which seems a bit like passing the buck, I mean I'm not going to hate him without a reason so he's got to lose interest in me first, right?

So anyway, this looks like a bad idea all around. If we're found out, we'll both be in trouble, he's already dated someone he worked with before, when he worked in California so it could be really bad for him. And I can't tell anyone that I work with. Even though on Friday night we went out to talk about our nonrelationship and ended up doing other things besides talking. I know I shouldn't make out with my boss, but I can't help but wonder if that isn't why I'm doing it. Do I have a thing for doomed love? Do I go after guys that I know it won't work out with? I'm just totally following my instincts on this one, though I'm sure that's a slippery slope. I can't eat, I can't sleep, it's been awhile, I'll admit, but why the hell would anyone want this insanity?