minka

Serenity 2

I saw Serenity on Monday and it was great. I was of course nervous going in, I loved Firefly and was afraid that the movie wouldn't live up to what I was expecting. But I should have known to trust in Joss. It was totally great. My boyfriend, also a fan of the show, decided it was his favorite film of '05 so far (and don't take that lightly, he has a list and has ranked all of them. I'm not joking).

What made the movie work was the balance between keeping the characters and world of the show intact while upping the ante so it felt like a movie rather than just another episode of Firefly. And it worked, I won't say what happened in the film other than that it's a continuation of the River storyline. My boyfriend pointed out that one thing that made the film great was that nothing in the preview (or almost nothing) took place after the first thirty minutes of the movie, so everything you're expecting gets out of the way quickly, then the film moves in a different direction. Even non-fans seemed to like it, I heard some folks at a screening at the same theater the next night (that time I was going to see Oliver Twist, I'm kind of a screening whore) talking about how they were at Serenity and without knowing anything about the show and how they really enjoyed the movie. David Walker, reviewer for the Willamette Week here in Portland seconded that opinion.

According to Entertainment Weekly a couple of weeks ago, reps from Universal have said the film would need to make at least $80 million for sequel consideration. Come on people, the bar has been set!

Serenity

So after September's rather icky batch of movies, we're finally getting some good ones. The Corpse Bride opened today, i plan to see it tomorrow night. Then on Friday, both Mirrormask (the Neil Gaiman penned film done with the Henson Creature Shop) and SERENITY. I swear I've been waiting forever for this movie. Here's the synopsis:

Joss Whedon, the Oscar� - and Emmy - nominated writer/director responsible for the worldwide television phenomena of BUFFY THE VAMPIRE, ANGEL and FIREFLY, now applies his trademark compassion and wit to a small band of galactic outcasts 500 years in the future in his feature film directorial debut, Serenity. The film centers around Captain Malcolm Reynolds, a hardened veteran (on the losing side) of a galactic civil war, who now ekes out a living pulling off small crimes and transport-for-hire aboard his ship, Serenity. He leads a small, eclectic crew who are the closest thing he has left to family �squabbling, insubordinate and undyingly loyal.

I think he was nominated for Toy Story for the Oscar, and I know the Emmy was writing a few eps of Buffy, it never got any of the major awards. Anyway, the website is here if you want to take a look at it. I was on the browncoats thing a long while ago, it was sort of a holding ground on the internet to motivate fans into a salivating army. I think it must have worked though I never recruited enough people to win a free poster. I think I only got Will to join.

Anyway, I'll see the movie Monday if everything pans out and write my review. I really hope I love it or it will be a very sad review.

Summer is more than half over (no, I don't go by the actual dates, summer is always june through august for me) and I'm getting that sort of oh-my-god-i-have-so-much-to-do feeling. What I've accomplished thus far is mostly a lot of reading. I of course finished the Harry Potter book, which reminded me why I liked the series to begin with. Other than that I've been trying to keep up with the piles of books that Cam gives me, which I do a horrible job at. I've been getting stuff from the library too. I've also been watching lots of things from netflix. I would marry netflix.

When not sitting around and reading I've been trying to get more work. The local alternative paper wrote an article about my news station and how it's wildly popular but bringing down local news. Despite being a Fox affiliate (though owned by a different corporation) the story is actually pretty fair. I found it amusing. Though I was a little annoyed that they don't talk about what else we do right, how the technical crew is great, the editors and photographers. But whatever. I don't think the story was written by someone who really knows a lot about news.

I'm also working on getting a writing gig at the Oregonian. Just some freelance stuff for the A&E section but I really hope it works out. No offence to anyone reading this (and I doubt there are many) but I'd like to be read by more than five people. I need to find cool spots and events in Portland, if anyone has an idea tell me.

Two of my friends announced that they were pregnant last week. I'm excited for them, and I like the idea of babies, especially those I'm not responsible for, but I'm also a little sad. There will be no going out and drinking for the next nines months. Well, they won't be drinking anyway. One, Ami, is my closest friend and confidant around here. She's married so it's not like we have the kind of friendship that single women do, but her husband is really great so we get to see each other a lot and hang out and stuff. I'm also feeling a little left out. I'm reading too many of those books about 30-something women desperate to marry before their ovaries freeze and it's making me anxious. My boyfriend has told me that he never wants to live with anybody. Though I think this may change at some point in his life I'm a little concerned because I don't know that it will ever happen with me. The problem is that I love him and think he's a really excellent match for me. On the other hand I think I'm just worried about this because I feel like everyone else is coupling off and I don't want to be left out. Sensible people do not worry about maybe things in the future, but people like me who are born for worry excell at it. My personal life is good, but not really sorted in any way, so I'm trying to focus on work. Maybe if I can pull myself together professionally and financially I'll know what to do. That said, I do realize that if he doesn't change his mind, and I'm not getting what I need, I'll have to move on. And in a case like this where we're so perfect for one another in other ways, that... I don't want to say makes me sad because it seems like an inadequate word for the feeling of waste and unhappiness. But there it is.

Making the News

We have breaking news! And I got the tip! I feel very special and in the middle of things though clearly I get more excited about this than anyone else here. They seem more excited about thunderstorms. I can understand wanting to tell people before it happens, but once you've got the pouring down rain i don't know that there's any point anymore. Clearly this is why I don't decide the news. It's starting to get really chilly in here. A change in indoor atmospheric pressure I'm sure. Or guessing. IT's fun to work with a meterologist though. You can go up and ask what's the weather going to be like? And then he answers. The Chief Meterologist is pretty good, though apparently the morning one, not so much. He's the one who has to go out and be wacky though and I think that may eat at your brain over time.

I wanna see you, I wanna see you

Today I'm learning the mysteries of the assignment desk. It would be super complicated if I wasn't used to the TV station by now I'd be totally lost. It's more busy than hard but considering I only get two days of training before getting thrown to the wolves, I'm a little trepedatious. Still I know who to ask and I'm feeling more confident. I've acquitted myself reasonably well today. I don't know how good I'll be though once I'm here on my own. I know this isn't life or death, but when your mistakes make it on the air in front of thousands of people, it's embarassing. Worse to be the reporter or anchor who's face is up there though because I guess they're the ones associated with our debaucles. I've made few mistakes that have gotten to air, though plenty that haven't. So I try to watch everything I do. I know inevitably I'll screw up, though hopefully not enough to be fired. I'm not sure how bad it has to be, I'm thinking pretty egregious for a first time offense, cursing or nudity, especially on purpose. I shouldn't actually try though. I don't want to be fired. My new goal is to get an Emmy. Cause it'd be cool. I used to know a kid who's Dad had a Grammy from playing drums on some Jazz album. It's not as cool as being Outkast or something but I think it will get me cool points forever should I procreate. Or maybe for a brief period in the preteen era, where I'll probably need it most.

Speaking of Outkast, I really love them. Specifically the Love Below album. I know it came out a couple of years ago but I was just singing one of the songs in the bathroom the other day (good accoustics in there) and it was one of those situations where the thought "I really like this song" came before I remembered the artist. I was thinking it was a His Name is Alive song. Granted, a later "My Blues Will Cover the Earth" era song but still. They have a musical coming up on HBO that sounds cool.

4/20/05

everything's good at home right now, meaning with my boyfriend. and i guess with my cat too though our relationship is seldom strained. he's having a rough time at his job right now due to numbers being down and a boss breathing down the chain of command. he doesn't like to talk about it though, probably partially because i used to work there and he doesn't want to complain about my friends, and frankly i don't want him to either. but i hate that there's a problem and i can't do anything to make it better. not that i can make my own problems better but still. well sometimes. work is going. i'm getting mroe time, the person in charge of scheduling is giving me more hours and i'm going to be trained to do the assignment desk as well, so that will give me another job that i can get extra hours for.

Work

i'm writing from work, making this the intellectual property of work. so anyone wanting to copy this should just be aware that you could have a huge corporation breathing down your neck. rather than me not really caring much. know fear.

i've been working a lot this week which is great. in a i'm not totally a completely broke type way. and really, that's a pretty underrated way. a lot of people here are really jaded and seem to feel that they're not doing what they dreamed. cause really, i think everyone wants to be peter jennings or dan rather instead of the guy with bad hair on the local news. and we're not even the guy with bad hair, we're the ones who keep him from looking stupid. not that the anchors are stupid, they're fine. though i did find out that the weekend anchor has an agent in la. maybe i shouldn't be surprised, but he's a local anchor, i didn't think it was that big a deal. i learned new things.

depressing

the weather outside is gorgeous, it was in the mid seventies today... and that's part of the reason why things are going so poorly right now. not only do i have to contend with my shitty job stuff, but the weather is destroying the retail business so my boyfriend is depressed, and when he wasn't depressed he was sick. so i'm barely working though trying to. i've called all the places i have applications at, but nothing retail related is hiring right now. at the TV station i'm trying to get a writing position by using my time to go in for free and write pieces, but the new producer is completely contradicting everything i was told to do the other day. i wrote my stories in the active voice and then she rewrote them in the passive voice, which is just something you don't do.

so i'm really frustrated. most of my friends are working and therefore busy, and even if i found someone to go out i'm making ridiculously little money. the last six weeks i've worked about 8 hours a week. which isn't working out.

they're putting in a new borders and that won't help things. and i'm tired of being stressed about things i can't change. you can only do your fucking best and i can barely afford to pay my bills so why do i worry about how his store's doing? it doesn't help anyone. but he's being so distant lately. so i'm alone without him and even when he's there it's like i'm the only one in the room. i know it's not about me but i'm just really lonely.

Long time

It's been awhile. I can't even remember what I wrote about last. I'm no longer working at the bookstore, I've been working for a TV station editing the news. I really like this job, it's about organizing and being quick and making something that will hold someone's interest. I also got another job this week at at a retail store that I really like. There are so many good things about the job, the clothes are fabulous, the staff seems pretty cool. The music we listen to while working is great, St Etienne's new greatest hits album, Rachel Goswell, the new Bjork album. I was looking for stock in the back and the stock people were listening to the Britta Philips/Dean Wareham album. Even the customers seemed a little nicer, or maybe it was just me not feeling that it was us against them.

The bad thing is that your bag gets searched everytime you leave the store. Even the managers bag is search by an employee. Plus your ankles get checked, in case you're wearing something under your clothes. I'm sure these safeguards were put in place for good reason, but it still makes me feel like a criminal, and that can't be good for workplace morale. Not mine anyway. Still, it's a seasonal job, hopefully after Christmas I'll be getting more hours at the TV station.

Things are going well for my boyfriend and I. I meant to think of it as a short term for the now thing, but everything I do is planning for the future. We don't fight cause he turns off if I get upset, and then I calm down and try to get him to speak. It's like pulling teeth to get him to talk sometimes (like about feelings and stuff, not NASCAR) and I have verbal diarrhea. He shuts down when he gets upset and I have to get everything out. But I think it's working out. I don't get upset much, though it tends to be right before my period, ok, always. I get pettulant and stuff. Since I've been out of work he's been paying more, for dinners and movies and stuff when we go out. I'm ok with it but I like things better when we share, not that I prefer to pay but because I don't want finances to play a part in what either of us is getting out of the relationship. I somehow want everything to be perfect and work out. But I think I think too much of the future and forget to be happy in the now. I do that in everything. Instead of enjoying all the time I have off, I worry about when I'll be working more (as in how soon until I have a real job) and where my life is going and why at the age of 26 I'm still living at home and basically poor. I forget to realize that I have a good job that will function as a springboard into a career, a boyfriend who's different from my others (luckily) and is surprising and unexpected in very good ways, a new temporary job to help with money at my absolute favorite store, and good friends I can call whenever. I hate to be all new-agey and focus on the good, but I think I should be a little more in that direction.

So much for keeping up with this. A lot is going on, though it feels like it's going so slowly. I'm still looking for a job, and today will be my fourth visit to the TV station where I'm trying to get a freelance editing position. So I feel good about it, really good, but I also don't want to get my hopes too high because I've had situations where I've been totally sure I'd get the job and then didn't and that felt awful.

Other news, I got a great review copy yesterday, or at least I think so. It looks good anway. It's called Jonathan Stroud and Mr. Novell (or at least I think it is, I don't have it with me at the time). Did anyone else get one? I still haven't read a book this year that I like as much as the Time Traveller's Wife and I'm hoping to find one soon. Well, ok, not true, I just read Good in Bed by Jennifer Weiner and totally loved it, and you should all read it too because it's just a fabulous book. But it came out a few years ago so doesn't count. I'm reading the Well of Lost Plots by Jasper Fforde and Blue Blood by Edward Conlon right now. Edward? Someone. Again, book in other room, me lazy. Fritz is freaking out, we have a bunch of people in the house tearing up carpeting and putting in hardwood floors and he only feels good when my Mom's around. He's having a rough time making do with me. But tell me what you think of the books. And Laura, if you get a review copy of Iron Council by China Mieville and don't want it, send it my way please.

Flux capacator

It's been awhile. I'm still here, sort of. I'm just enjoying the whole having sex thing. And I'm busy trying to get a job. The guy I'm seeing is now the store manager. I need to get out of here really quickly. I've been job shadowing an acquaintence who works at a TV station doing postproduction, and I feel that will turn into something, though maybe not as quickly as I would like. Because I want something now. I'm freaked out that he's going to dump me, or at least say that we can't see each other until I get another job. Which would suck ASS because then rather than pretending to not see him on the side, I would have to be at work with the whole broken heart thing going on, working with the person who broke my heart, and pretending that absolutely nothing is wrong. Sometimes I just stop and like David Byrne, wonder "How did I get here?" It's all written down for posterity so I know how it happened, but it's one of those synapses not firing situations, I can't quite figure out how I reached this point.

I just want something else, somewhere else. I like my life, except for the blatant lie in the middle of it.

So in other news, going to a barbecue today. We have a barbecue going on downstairs as well, for the people in our condo complex. How my house was selected I do not know. I should be there as I'll be the person living here, ALONE next year. I'm really not looking forward to that. I want a roommate or something, I don't like being alone. I might just move out and get an apartment, I don't know. I'm really kind of in flux right now. Hopefully things will sort of settle by the end of the summer.

Happiness

It's been awhile. I've been busy though. Last week I went up to Seattle to see Belle and Sebastian. The show was really great. And then this week, I've been spending most of my spare time with you know who. It's just so, so good. I can't even think to describe how good things are right now. Still, I get nervous whenever anything good happens to me, like oh no, this is going to end badly. Still I can't care that much, because here and now I'm totally happy and worrying about the future will not make the future less painful, but will hurt my happiness now. It's not the sort of thing that you can store up and save for a rainy day. So I'm scatter-brained at work and in a flighty mood and spending almost no time at home. And for the first time in a long while, I'm hopeful about my future. I just hope that this can last for a little while.

Frisky

Ok, I may have overreacted about the Republican thing. He says he's pro-choice and he likes the Simpsons, he can't really be a Republican. So anyway, last night I had such an amazing time. I'm going to try to straddle the line between giving good blog and discretion, but oh it was great. I went over to watch the Larry Sanders Show and made it through a sum total of one episode before we became otherwise occupied. And it's not just physical stuff, it's also lots and lots of talking. I love talking to him. He's very different from me, his views and opinions and experiences, but similar enough in things like sense of humor and intelligence. And the things that are different just charm me right now.

So yeah, the working together stuff is still a problem. I guess the worst thing right now is that I want to shout how much I like him from the rooftops, and as it stands, I have to pretend that we're just boss/employee. And I'm worried that I may not be doing that very well, cause I'm just runnething over with happiness and desire and joy. Which frankly, for me is more than a little unusual. Please let me keep this, for awhile anyway.

Apalling

Oh my god, he's a republican! No seriously, I'm not making light of this, I actually feel sort of ill. Nothing he said or did would have led me to this conclusion, and as an outspoken liberal, he knows my feelings. And yet he said NOTHING. I actually found this out cause I finally asked him, almost as a rhetorical question. And then I was appalled. I actually sat back on the other side of the car and stared at him for a minute. Then I said, well, but you wouldn't vote for Bush would you? He didn't say anything and I was just... in shock. Then I asked, but do you hate gay people? And he was like, no no. And I was so worried cause that would have totally been a dealbreaker. Then we started making out. Though now I'm worried. What if he's pro-life? I knew our relationship was troubled, but now I know it can't last. Seriously, can I last with a republican? And if he's going to be one, shouldn't he act like one? I swear, next time that's going to be my first question. I mean, if James Carville can do it, I guess I can. But this was a horrible thing to find out.

A little animal nitrate

Yesterday we talked on the phone for a couple hours. Tonight we talked on the phone for a couple of hours. But he dosen't want us to get together again because he apparently can't control himself. According to him. I personally thought he was holding back, but whatever. So yeah. But I'm also realizing that I need to take charge of other parts of my life and not expect him to make everything better. And I kind of want to look around for another guy so I can walk out of this on my own terms and not let him pull the plug. It may be mean, but with his relationship history I think he could use a good kick in the pants to make him grow up. I say this, and yet I'm totally smitten with the guy. I'm making him a mix cd as we speak. And we all know that that means love. Sorry I don't have anything more fabulous to report, I'll attempt to do lewd things to share with my public for next time.