today was... weird. i've been having the most fucked up dreams lately. i guess it's a combination of the heat and my majorly stressed-out brain. i have no job. i have to go back to new york because i need to make some money this summer.

one of the reasons i left new york was to not stress out over boys. and you know what? i think it worked. and i have met so many lovely ladies and i really hate to leave them. kathryn has saved me from days of moping many a time already. like today, even though i was so depressed over money / job / school situations that i was in tears and desperate, i managed to drag myself into a cool shower because she was coming to pick me up at 5pm. we went to visit abbie, which might be the last time i see her in a while, if i have to leave this weekend like i think i do. fuck. i don't even have a home in nyc right now.

but today turned out okay. after visiting abbie, kathryn dropped me off at maggie's, where we cooked with the kitchen door open and ate a lovely meal and then took sadie for a walk in the considerably cooled-off post-rain evening. we picked out the houses we liked and talked about porches. then we stopped by emma's house for vegan chocolate chip cookie bars and sat in the garden while the beambugs lit up all around us.

when kimmy got home from work, i continued her education with the o.c. s1 eps 4-6. now it is sleeping time but i am not tired. and i think there is a mosquito in my room. and i really want to read kavalier & clay but i was kind of sad at the turn the book took this afternoon, so i am reluctant. i wish i'd known that such wonderful gay characters abounded in michael chabon's books (at least in the mysteries of pittsburgh and k&c). i would have read them sooner!

xo.