i hate the day after christmas. in fact, i hate everything after 10am on christmas day. because it means all the magic is over. bizarre presents made an appearance of course, including the (probably expensive) silver christmas tree-shaped photo holder, engraved with my name. wtf?? but then there are the wonderful things, like a sewing machine! and the annoted alice (finally a copy of my own!), and cute kitten heeled shoes and gift certificates and a lovely black skirt. and of course a stocking filled with (cat patterned) socks and chapstick and candy.

so i was watching this thing with my dad last night, a special on tv about disney world. they were talking about animal kingdom, where they have all these beautiful wild animals in a big "safari." it made me so horribly sad. and even when they moved on to the animatronic robot creatures, and they had one that was a dinosaur, and it was free-roaming... they showed it pulling a cart! wtf! they enslaved the robot dinosaur! it's fucked up but i felt really sad.

i am drinking tea. i am wishing i didn't keep having dreams about that boy. i am worrying over writing poems for thesis. i am excited about a week in pittsburgh followed by jordan's wedding (!!!). i am calmer now that my student loan refund has come through and i've paid the electric bill.

i decided that i really want to see memoir of a geisha, so i read the book. and really, it was rather a pleasant holiday read. my mom and i are going to see the movie tomorrow night. i had previously decided that anna karenina was going to be my winter break read, so maybe i'll pick that up this week before my pittsburgh trip.

what else? in the past month, christiaan moved out and helen moved in, i saw voxtrot twice but only saw them play once, i spent more time in brooklyn than i ever have, i finished my 3rd (of 4) term of school, i threw a party and finally saw laurel, i made out with my crush (among others), and i took off my stockings in front of lucie. oh decadent decadent december.

i have been home for 5 days and am dying for a cigarette. helen is in texas and i miss her.

xo.