I found 2 Peg Bracken books at the Sunday book sale, the classic "I Hate To Cook Book" and "The Appendix To..." It has Hilary Knight illustrations, hooray!

It's true I DO hate to cook. And here's why: "We must face facts. If a recipe calls for eleven different chopped ingredients and cream sauce and a cheese-topped meringue, you don't call it 'quick" if you hate to cook." Oh, I loathe prep work.

"We ladies who hate to cook are easily intimidated by recipes and recipe books, and we wouldn't dream of substituting or omitting; we just walk past that particular recipe and never go back again." Helllooooo, cilantro, tomatoes, and pepers, yick. That's my problem with all the recent cookbook and cooking show trendiness, it assumes no one is a finicky, picky eater. Normal people have pet hates, so why do food writers assume people love everything?

Plus Bracken says it's okay to use frozen or ready-made things now and then, as "maybe you're hell for house cleaning" or "maybe you're just plain cute around the house." Ha ha ha, well there's what I can bring to a marriage, then. 'Cause God knows my housekeeping skills are severely lacking. I can't help if I'm of the generation that came after The Politcs of Housekeeping! I have to learn how to do this shit as it happens, they don't teach you the best way to clean a bathtub at school.

But, this book has a weird datedness HELLO CANNED ASPIC EWWWWW.

So VH1 is showing "Suede Head" and all I can think is "Morrissey! It's snowing and one can see your breath, WHY AREN'T YOU WEARING GLOVES?" (Nice quiff tho)

Aww look at all the late 80s indie kids in "Everyday is Like Sunday"! My heart is crying. And look, the little vegetarian girl is upset in front of the butcher's shop. (But she's wearing a shirt saying "I don't eat my friends"? Honey, think of the innuendo in that statement next time you think of putting that shirt on)

Ha ha I remember when staying up omSunday nights 10-12 seemed difficult. Oh how I laugh now. Dave Kendall has SO MUCH to answer for.

The Jersey City Library had a book on Fassbinder! Why? (It's like my home library which had the Foucault Reader. Huh? People outside of universities read him?) I took it out, of course. Too bad about computerized library systems, you can't see when people last checked a book out anymore! Oh well, I'm getting prepared for the Fassbinder Festival at Film Forum.

Have you ever read John Waters' essay "Guilty Pleasures"? It's about his love for pretentious art haus flicks. I relate as I have a soft spot for fillums about Crazy European Ladies (I saw Repulsion, The Piano Teacher, Romance, and A Ma Soeur in one year. YES!) Fassbinder tops Waters' list, awww. Actually, that reminds I have GOT to see Teorema, oooo Terence Stamp! (Oh, hey, I should watch that new movie about Fellini, then. The one that's showing in APRIL.)

The Llbrary also has mysteries titled Federal Fag and Government Gay, but I'm too shy to take them out.

I feel like I've been watching Law and Order ALL WEEK. This week was all about the rosemary shout outs. SVU had a scene ONE BLOCK from my house (that means three shots for me, right?) and CI had a suspect mention my hometown. (I've said it before and I'll say it again, "Bobby" Goren, come to Jersey City!)

But, hey, is this the THIRD time Fred from Roseanne has been on a Law and Order episode? (Oh my, TWINS!)

Now for the awkard segue! Okay, so there's this book Teleparody which has some faux academic articles on, well, television shows. A good joke, that's made better by not being explained (which is my big beef with adacemic writing, footnotes that explain the fucking obvious) is repeatedly crediting work to Sheila Rosenberg of UC Sunnydale. (If you don't get that, why ARE you reading a book about TV??) ANYWAY, who ever 'writes' the Law and Order essay needs to be from Hudson University OBVIOUSLY.

(Look Brian, I posted some more!)

Oooo, everything's pink! Thanks, Brian!

(I repay the favor by KICKING HIS ASS at Trivial Pursuit.)

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If I had picked gay porn instead of 70s reruns, would it have made a difference?

Ok, I was right, the Steyn book is nowhere near as good as the Mordden. How big an anti-PC bug does Steyn have up his ass? Huge apparently, and it just comes out in these utterly gratuitous asides (And I haven't decided if they are more or less annyong than his Big Duh ones. If you're reading a book about musicals, surely you know from Annette. I mean, I don't even need to add the Funicello!) He has some sort of problem with feminists in the university, or rather he has no freaking idea what they do. Yes, yes of course it's all Madonna analyses! Plus he makes one reference to Marianne Faithfull for seemingly no other reason than to make the Mars Bar punchline. Uggh use other tired rumours PLEASE. I can't even be bother to take on his interpretation of rap partly beacuse I am surprised that people are still in such a snit about it! And what's the point of this line? "These are the illegal immigrants of theatre music, the equivalents of those Nicaraguan babysitters whose cheapness and availability was so appealing to President Clinton's Justice Department." (p300) What? Does anyone care besides Steyn?

So all this weird snippiness makes the book quite un"amusing reading" sorry, New York Times. My eyes hurt from all the rolling they had to do.

Well, I have found it! The least gay record ever! (I need something to counteract the growing collection of showtunes and various singing ladies) It's "Here Comes the Bride" a program of organ music compiled by Bride's magazine!!!

And I went to a party this weekend and there were NO RAWKSTARS (real or ironic) so that's a disappointment. But I had much fun dancing, including "Saturday Night" so I'm a happy bunny. (And Stereo Total was played, so Mary learned to feel the love!) But then I went home and got kerb crawled, blllllurrgghh. Why do only creeps find me attractive? Why don't nice boys like me?

And I found "Broadway Babies Say Goodnight" at Housing Works, hurrah, but I don't think it's as good as the Mordden book.

OH BOY! DJ Bronwyn C is featuring "Flowers in the Attic" on Read 'Em and Weep. And I've promised to call in!!! As well I should what with my well developed inner teenage girl. And DAMN, where's that in sore need of a fact check article by Zoe Williams?

That said, "Petals on the Wind" is the baroque/decadent to FITA's classic. It just takes bonkers to a new level.