I made a CD today with that title. It's all showtunes! I think the recipient will appreciate it. I forgot to put any Jerry Orbach on it, but it does have Bea Arthur, Paul Lynde, and Charles Nelson Reilly. HA.
I can't believe WFMU keeps playing tATu all the time. The last time I heard an group on so many different shows, it was the Ladytron EP. Sorry, but I prefer Mancunian cryptofags to Russian jailbait faux-sapphists. Oh well, I'll be drinking with one of the guilty DJs this week, so I can just beat him up.
(Cat DNA! Oh Law and Order! Ice-T saying "Tabby" is adorable, but also saying "Here, pussy, puss, pussy" is, err, that was done on purpose, right? RIGHT??)
But anyway. I took two books about grammar out. Mine's better than I thought! They are rather harsh on those who use "irregardless" (as well they should be!!!)
I finally hear tATu's "How Soon is Now" (And the DJ played Soho's "Hippiechick", do I lose all remnants of any cred I have by saying I heard that song before I heard "How Soon is Now"? Oh hang on, I don't really think I care) Um, it's okay. But that's it, it's just okay. They aren't great, and call me old fashioned, (or an art fag) but I prefer the Smiths. And am I a fun hater if I think a manager taking economically deprived underaged girls and having them be overtly sexual for profit might be a bit creepy? Wheeee teenage lesbians how great! Dancing in your underwear is 'empowering' now, dontcha know. Oy gevalt. Cell 16, here I come.
More Ethel Merman clips, please! She kciks Renee and Catherine's sorry asses.
And, eww, Roman Polanksi won? I like Chinatown and Repulsionand everything, but he's a criminal!!! Oh well, whatever.
I know, I know I have no money (and oh boy my rent’s gone up $10 and I’m not getting an A/C but I am getting a screen door but ANYHOW) but look what I bought today from the 5 for $2 pile at The Strand:
Films for Labor : and how to use them It’s fantastic! Films and filmstrips to rent to show your union! There’s even a short film staring Frank Sinatra singing “The House I Live in” and teaching kids not to be bigots. There’s a film called “Don’t be a Sucker”! An abridged version of ‘How Green Was My Valley” to “illustrate early struggles of workers to organize against ruthless employees.” This must be from around 1948. It’s kind of depressing considering the current economic and political state. Oh and the cartoon of “Discrimaination Means Unequal pay for Equal Work” (Let’s see HA HA the gender pay gap is 75 cents to the dollar , wow it hasn’t changed in 55 years!)
The Washington Guidebook It’s from the 60s and fairly obvious which part of the 60s when Arlington Cemetery has Kennedy GraveS. Wait, when did DC get the Metro? (rosemary, its orange and brown WHEN DO YOU THINK?) it’s not mentioned in the book!
VC Andrews Garden of Shadows Hey, the library doesn’t have it! Now all I need is Seeds of Yesterday. HA HA HA.
The Education of Edward Kennedy Well, it was this or some gay porn. I was leaning towards the porn, but got creeped out when one of the characters named had the name of someone I’ve done. I get creeped out reading about characters with the same names as past, uh, “beaux” in not porn books so. More fodder for the inevitable Kennedy project!
Geographers’ A-Z From before decimalisation! The Tube Map on the back is all blurry so I can’t read it very well, but it’s got that weird bit of the Northern Line and has a Trafalgar Square Starnd tube stop but no Embankment. (wiill reserach the dates on THAT) I think it is missing a few pages in the front. Hmmm London and Gatwick Airports.
I also gotRock Wives, too, but that’s for later.
I read John M Clum’s Something for the Boys: Musical Theater and Gay Culture. Clum rightly points out the horribleness of Mark Steyn’s book. (Part of me thinks Steyn could just be a really bitter old closet case, I have no idea but that’s what he comes of like!)
Wheeeeeee Oscar night! Last year I was soooooo bored I just switched to watching Desperately Seeking Susan which was much better! Maybe I should rent that. God, now I AM as old as Madonna was in that film (and older than Rosanna Arquette? Shrieeeeeeeeeeeek)
And I bought a bunch of showtunes, god, how many musical soundtracks do I have? (ha ha, I have to explain to people who Marni Nixon is OH MY GOD I caught the beginning of the Joel Grey L&O:CI episode and oh god I did not need to see him and his tarty blonde wife doing it)(Speak of the devil, he’s on TV wishing Bob Hope Happy Birthday who is 100)
ARRRGH. Performance is on TV, and I missed the first half! GRRRRR. It is sort of overrated, though, isn't it? It's certainly over written about. Or maybe it's just that every essay seems to say THE SAME THING. (Kisses to Iain Sinclair) Plus, aren't the two women in it SEVERELY ANNOYING? Eh, 60s British hippies Notting Hill psychogeography BLAH BLAH BLAH.
Oh, Trio blurs nipples. How rotten (and ironic since this summer they had a month long special about sense and censorship). Even PBS and A&E shows, nipples, come on, Trio!!
So. Anyway. I rented The Rules of Attraction. It's kind of icky watching someone you went to school with masturbate on screen. (Ha ha, when they find out my school's most famous drop out, people usually ask "is JVDB gay?" and I say, "hello, everyone who went there is a big fag, I mean LOOK AT ME") Aren't boys odd looking when they have sex? It makes me happy I have such poor vision.
The gay boy really looked the asshole boyfriend in Romance! Shannyn Wotsit really gets on my tits, I'm not sure why, but urrrg, i can't stand her! What else I can't stand (and this film reminded me): boys who play hacky sack! Ewww!
So I tried the Xaviera method of determining girth, and I have a 6 x 5.5 penis! That's not gonna get me in back of HX anytime soon, but as was pointed out to me today, it's fine for certain things. So, my new chat up line: "Hey! My dick is the perfect size to fuck you in the ass!" What do you think, shall I try this out?
I rented Romance today. That and Fat Girl are the stories of my life. Well, not really, but Breillat's characters are the only ones I have ever seen who have felt and thought what I have.
The first moves are what I like best. It's delicious. I can never stop myself from yielding. It surprises me each time. I watch myself giving in as if it wasn't me.
On the other hand, what is with all the talking during sex? What a passion killer! (Okay, so I don't relate to EVERYTHING about Marie, I can look like I'm enjoying myself) And was that the most tedious blow job EVER? I can see why Rocco Siffredi is so gosh darn popular, my oh my! Which reminds me, this movie has got LOTS of ooky sounds, which is neat. The flesh slapping when Paulo/Marie are fucking and the SQUISH of the gynecologists examining Marie, eek!
And, HEY GROSS OUT TIME, that's the second reference to remove one's tampon and putting it under the bed. What the hell? Is there some menstrual sex etiquette I missed? Wouldn't that ruin your carpeting?
The ending is sooooooo satisfying though. BOOM.
So the other day, I was thinking of things that annoy me, and one of my top ten annoyances ever is the "Are you named after the Salinger book" and I was out this weekend meeting new people AND ARRRGGGH SOMEONE BROUGHT IT UP. And I acted mean, but not as mean as I wanted to. I just think "NO!!!!! It's spelled entirely differently you stupid fucker and BESIDES Zooey was a boy (and don't think Zooey Deschanel is gettin' any love from me) and I can't believe you think my mother would be so tasteless as to read Salinger."
So that was sort of soured my evening. And I was super cranky anyway, because someone said of a song I picked "oh, someone's playing the Ronettes ironically" AND I SO WASN'T, it just made me hate music geeks MORE. AND uggggg getting stuck between two music discusssion was horrible NO WAIT it was worse because it wasn't about MUSIC it was about music writing, and oh my god, I wanted to die. I just don't understand writing 10 page essays on why you like one song or one tv show. Maybe I just hate boys.
Having to shave everyday is gonna suck, but on the plus side, at least I won't freeze when coming out of the shower. I have to shave if I want to wear SANDALS (Tights and sandals? Eww!) My calves OW OW OW, but at least my feet don't hurt. And they look so cute with shiny purple toenails. And is it me and am I tall, or do I just associate with short people? I feel like I'm towering over people lately. Maybe it's the boots but I doubt it. But my sense of height is so weird, people that in my mind I think are not tall turn out to be six feet. What's wrong with me? God help me if I ever I ever have to give a witness statement.
Maybe I am just feeling extra poorly, but why do I feel like I'm the 'them' in "find 'em, feel 'em, fuck 'em and forget 'em"?
(Oh no, it's the creepy couple on A Baby Story. Yes, yes, I know that really narrows it down. Oh wait, It's not the one I'm thinking of, with the really crying husband.)
I think I need to rearrange my room. I need a change. If I was really motivated I'd rearrange the front room! Maybe. Do I need another book shelf? Maybe I should have bought the big black shelf I saw at the apartment sale. Maybe I should just save up for an IKEA trip. Maybe I should just find someone who knows how to properly hang shelves. I want to put them up! But I have no tools. They will match my picture frames. I want to hang more pictures! I'll start looking for frames this spring.
Using some bizarro method found in Xaviera H's "The Best Part of A Man" Axis Sally and I were calculating the size of our dicks, and I am soooo sad hers is bigger than mine!!!!!
Oh, so lots of people (including women the same age as I) think I am under 20!!!! Is this good or bad? I guess it's just funny.
Oh the Pol Pot Party set up camp early. Everything hurts. I want to go back to bed. I didn't get drunk last night (It took me, like, two hours to nearly finish a cup of beer, eww, beer) and everyone else around me was, and that made me sad. Next year, I'll bring a flask of my own concoction. (The Urban Outfitters had faux retro cocktail glasses witht he ingredients of naughty named cocktials. I want a Piece of Ass! Schnapps and southern Comfort? Oy gevalt.)
Last week I pledged and pledged (and big pledges TOO) and won NOWT but today I made two $10 pledges and got TWO CDs YAY! Maybe some other things will go my way soon. ONE CAN HOPE.
Goodness, but CI was full of movie stars this weekend, as well as some gross out rosemary moments. Michael Murphy! (When did he start look so OLD??) IAN FAITH!!! ha ha ha! "her diaphragm was still wet?" Ewwww!
More eww was Joel Grey's "we just had finished making beautiful love." Dear Lord may no one EVER say that about me, I would be so appalled. But JG was working the wife beater look/tracksuit top/gold chain look nicely!
"That was when you were in Germany!"
I should write a Law and Order book. God, think of the research involved!!! I'll just stick with my Hudson University t shirt idea.
My living room is 66.6 degrees! Oh no!
I think I am going to make an egg salad sammich now. I cooked the eggs last night using a Martha Stewart recipe. I wish I could have had the salad with freshly cooked warm eggs, num. I wish I had a bagel, ohhhhh it's so good on a pumpernickel bagel. Hmm maybe I will buy some nice soft pumpernickel bread today.
I went to a surprise birthday party last night, and it was quite fun, even though at 2 in the morning last night I realised the LAST 40th surprise party I went to was my dads. (And two months later we had a a getogether with a similar guest list, but uh, I'm not about to tell this to all my 'old' friends.)
And then I took the subway home with someone that I had quoted extensively in The Best College Paper I Ever Wrote (tm) (Yes! It was Clement Greenberg! How did you know????)(Art History major joke sorrrrrrry). I didn't tell him, though, it would be weird, don't you think? I think that was my problem with grad school, I couldn't bring myself to use people I had met as sources. 'But I've met @ng3l@ mcr0bb13, how can I quote her!!' Ha ha, like academic work isn't all about quoting the bejesus out of your colleagues. No wonder I sucked at it! I want to go back though. And do mad research! I have a five page bibliography all ready! Too bad I automatically blank out when I hear the word 'methodologies'. (And the only Levi Strauss I want to know from is the one with the denim)
One of my favorite WFMU (former) DJs Trouble made a prediction today. The last frontier for the hipster folk? SHOWTUNES. That's what's gonna be 'cool' next. Oh my god, I'm up on a trend before it starts! HA HA HA.
My toad in the hole was sooooooo yummy that I ate half of it (instead of a quarter, oh well, it was made with skim milk and lower fat sausage links and a minimum of oil, so it's ok, right? And are mushroom authentic/kosher? They are tasty.)
I added links! More to come, I guess.
So tonight pledging on Seven Second Delay was a carpenter named Amy and for a moment I thought is it Amy Wynn of Trading Spaces?? A little birdie says she's around the area and another little birdie could, you know, have the opportunity to check this out (if it's true, this is almost as funny as a certain famous photographer pledging $300+ entirely to Glen Jones. I guess one has to know both FP and GJ to find this hysterical)
I love you, little eMac and I'm sooooo happy you are well again, and oh, my iTunes you are working again, and now I can listen to Ann-Margret and Annette OVER AND OVER AGAIN.
And tonight I will make Toad in the Hole as last night's plans went weird and I instead ate a steak sandwich and french fries, so now my tummy is dying. (Poor food plus money stress plus boy stress plus no self esteem stress equals urrrghhhhh)
Gee, maybe I CAN do my 'I'm giving up sex for Lent' schtick after all. (The joke being it's not exactly giving up anything if you don't have it in the first place)
In other words, boys who only kiss you when they're drunk: dud or dud? (Why is that the only type of boy I seem to attract?)
It's Mardi Gras? Oops. Hey, does making Yorkshire Pudding count as pancakes?
Oh geez, this year I can't say I'm giving up sex for Lent, can I?
I saw the Beatrice Arthur Special last night. There are probably gayer things, but my mind is drawing a blank. This is most likely because it has been SEVERELY TRAUMATIZED by this show. BA, Rock Hudson, Melba Moore, and Waylon Flowers and Madame all singing is scary enough. But Bea Arthur in low cut tops and skirts slit up to her hip? Bea and Mr. Drummond doing Steve Martin impersonations? Bea and Rock singing about poppers???????? (the old 1979/1980 commericals ruled though. And made me sad.)
I am writing this on the library computer. My precious darling is all fixed and I should have been in Short Hills by now. But, I got this call from my ride (ho ho) today saying "I've got bad news, worse news, and sort of good news" and the good news is "I'm not in jail." I really should RUN, no? And then I felt bad that I feel bad because it's not me with car issues.
(and I feel really low that my gut reaction is "I SHAVED FOR NOTHING????")