I found lots of books today including some Kennedy bios and some Sweet Valley High, YAY. And then I was gong to get lunch but even though the flyers says Sunday 12-8, those cocksuckers at Sc3nt of 1t@ly were closed!!! Goddammit I wanted a "philly cheesesteak"! Bastards!

And all the yard sales totally sucked and I didn't go into Manhattan or Brooklyn, but I might go to Academy this week, eben though I shouldn't.

Oh, And I got a totally free Nine West bag yesterday on the street.

So I drank a varitey of things tonight, and yet... I'm ok. I wasn't quite haveing the bad vibes I had the other week.

My FUCK cookies were well recieved, and they turned out ok, too. Who knew I could bake?

I think I tried out my new antagonistic, fight picking strategy. I dunno how it's gonna go.

I think my biggest disappointment is NO DANCE PARTY, what the hell? Seriously next housewarming, I"M BRINGIN' THE TUNES.

Oh, and could someone please lay down the law and tell me to stopping dicking about? And use my connections and such and finally resolve one aspect of my boy angst once and for all? (maybe deep down I LIKE the prolonged horror of it all)

(PS, Oh christ, I totally forgot about the controlled substances tonight [Is this like when I forgot about lezzing it up?] As usual, it really didn't work)

Does flavored cider count as girl drink drunk? How am I able to drink this, though, it's fizzy, and carbonation is gross.

I can't decide what to do with my hair. I'm not down with braid. Regular ponytail? One big braid? I dunno. The first stepwould probably be TO BRUSH IT.

Well, the cookie did turn out ok. I so need a rolling pin. And other rack in the oven, jesus. I have no idea how the recipe on the side of the cookie cutter tine makes FOUR DOZEN cookies. I think I got 30 maybe, and I used more flour and butter! A LOT of butter, yikes. I wish I had some sugar or icing to put on them, they are a little plain. But they say FUCK and that's funny. All this effort for an "eat my fuc" sight gag that will only be funny to me.

Hey kids, new links! It's pretty much the usual suspects, isn't it?

I had a day where some little things made me a happy girl. I can't go into all of them right here, but if your name is Axis Sally, you will hear a full overly detailed report sometime.

The "eat my fuc" dough is made and in the fridge! Wheee! Cookies! And cider! I want to wear makeup tomorrow, but it's gonna melt in the heat, I'm sure. I haven't worn liquid eyeliner in sooooo long.

Everybody groaned today when I said how many Barbra Streisand records I own. Screw you, haterz! These covers FASCINATE me, and some of the tunes are good, you know.

So Trio will blur nipples on naked breasts YET I CAN SEE EVERYTHING on the ladies on Battle of the Network Stars.

God, I wanna go swimming. MMMMM chlorine fumes.

Trio has a new show called "Good Clean Porn" where they only show the non sex scenes from 70s porn. God, it's the total quintessential Trio show, 'sexy' stuff but totally edited ["Uncensored" Comedy??? I THINK NOT] And then this weekend there was nudity and swearing on Oxygen! (No one expects the dopey wymynz's channel to show such sauciness, I guess) They had women saying things straight out of "Why'd Ya Do It": "I imagine another woman's mouth on his dick." MY EARS!!!

And today I was lecturing a dog about not being a tease. And then half an hour later I remembered my shirt has a pulp novel cover reproduction on it and says "Hard to Get" and I found this slightly embarrassing for some reason (and not the fact that I was discussing a dog's sex life.)

And then I got a hole in my shirt. Screw you, tape gun. The shirt kept getting stuck in the wheel of the gun, and after the second time I went to dust my self off and there was a rip! So I moaned to a colleague and got half told off. As if it's MY FAULT by breasts keep getting in the way? Why are boys so mean???

God I SO NEED to have the communists come, I feel so sex mad and yet utterly disgusted by thought of sex.

I have had this bad gut feeling about something over the past week or so, and since my intuitions over the years have turned out to be right all the frickin' time, I'm not too happy. The situation isn't as horrible as some of them (i.e I'm not about to get severely fucked over or anything) it's just mildly disappointing.

I think I might get drunk this weekend. It could go very bad, because it will be in front of people I only vaguely know, it could end up embarrassing. Then again, maybe I need a new social circle to think of me as a TOTAL DRUNK.

(epilogue: pol pot party ugggggh ow)

I drank a lot again, ooops. All over Brooklyn. I'm not sure I want to go back to Red Hook, god that band! It was like being stuck in a never ending epsiode of Prarie Home Companion (but with less Lutherans) I picked 18 songs on the jukebox at another bar, but you know? I think I only noticed about five of them.

I went to the FIAF Bastille Day street fair. Oh god, I hate non moving corwds, but wow! That was the best street fair food ever. (All though I was a bit wary about the shrimp cocktail table.) There were about five crepe/lemonade/frites stands, but the stands set up by actual restaurants YUM YUM. Why didn't I get the duck? or the lamb? I had a salami and garlic butter wrap, which was good (mmmm salami) and a salad nicoise baguette which I ate too soon after the wrap. It was pretty good, I should buy some beans this week and make some of my own. Oooh, nicoise pasta salad, I should experiment. Oh god, will someone please take me to a French restaurant? MMMMMMMM.

And then I took a train back to Brooklyn and got stuck in a car with all Absolut ads. Absolut Screwdriver bluhhhhhh after having WAY TOO MANY 12 hours before. But frankly, that looked more like Tang than orange juice. And guess what, now I really want some Tang. Ohhhh I wonder if Shop-Rite still has that Mandarina/Tangerine Kool-Aid man, that would be sooooooo good right now. Mmmm sugary drinks.

Oh, and the inevitable lezzing it up happened. I think the boys in attendance at our outing were more interested in discussing records, how cutely predictable! Bless 'em.

So my France tourism magazine has an offer to send away for brochures. "France for the Jewish Traveler" Ho ho, I can't wait to see what that one will say. "Watch out for synagogue burnings!"

So a certain teen tv show star got married? I am depressed mainly becuase, oh no! another younger alum than I getting married! (ha ha can you be alumni if you're a DROPOUT??) And speaking of, XY magazine reprinted some list that said my college is the most gay friendly college EVER, Well, something like that, it was number one on the list.

So crazy dreams about people I know:
1) In one dream I discovered that a boy I knew was a coke addict, and my first reaction was 'great! he will give me some and then we can do it?"

2)In another dream, another boy I knew tied me up, but very poorly, and I untangled myself. Then I went to the restaurant where he worked (not IRL mind) and went to the bar in the back and a box of drink tickets spilled over my head.

Help

Hmmm American Psycho is on basic cable. It'll be interesting to see how they edit it. I saw this in the theater with my mom, and both of us were looking forward to it! We were the only two people who laughed at some of the funny scenes. I could probably watch 8 1/2 Women with my mother, too. (We've seen Greenaway films together before. "Look at all the naked men in Prospero's Books!!" "European men!" "Ha ha!')I can watch nearly anything with her, though I can't (won't???) tell her a thing, it's sooo bizarre. I've had conversations getting into gory details of the Starr report but obviously I would never reveal similar but personal anecdotes (if you know, I had any. I obviously know nothing about "DNA Sample" stains or blowjobs or anything.)

Oh the music monologues in this movie are sooooo funny. Ewww cigar smokers, ewww.

Oh geez, I take back every pro-nudity screed I wrote here, NIGEL HAVER'S NAKED ARSE!! NOOOOOO!!!

I think the short one off of League of Gentleman is cute. Maybe he will wear no clothes, and I can be happy again. Maybe there will be nudity on CI (ho ho, I should be so lucky, eh?).

Ugg, it's gross outside again.

Euston Station!!! I used to live near there. Too bad it's so ugly. Will someone give me money so I can go see if it's still ugly? Thaaaaaanks

Well, I finally figured out what the nasty nasty mystery smell in the kitchen was: moldy yam BARF CITY. It has left it's smell on the basket it was in, and also the popcorn it was sitting by. My delicate gag reflex could barely take it. Can you wash popcorn? Will that get the stench out? I am trying to air the basket in the sun today. Ew! Too bad I discover it right AFTER the garbage pickup is. So now I have to wait until Monday.

Christ, who turned me into an estrogen time bomb yesterday?

I cleaned up a wee bit and put more books on the book sale pile. Whee, there's $2 more for me. (And hey, that's one drink at the Lucky Seven during happy hour, um, who wants to go next week?)

haha, said to me today: "You have a lot of 'long stories'"

(unrelated: I think I have 5 1/2 crushes. I don't know. Can't I just get rid of them ALL and get new ones?)

8 1/2 Women is on IFC. Full frontal male nudity, yesss! (Even if it old guys. Well, not all of them. Some are young(er)) Wow, they sure are talking about dick a whole lot. Uh. Like I mind? (shush, you) (wait, did they just cut out a scene?) God, I love the way this movie looks.

I saw Pirates of the Caribbean. It makes me want to go swimming, or boating, or something. Wheee, 18th century clothing, mens and wimmens! The trailers though! I think the hair dye used on Tobey Maguire in Seabiscuit is the same hair dye used on the creepy toothless guy in Death of Venice. I wish they would show the Nightporter on TV again. It’s so pretentiously sleazy!

I think I was nearly cruising a band today, isn’t it horrible? One returned eye contact, and one waved and said ‘hello’. They also need haircuts and/or a comb. But I think I am ovulating and therefore in prime ‘contemplating shagging nearly anything male’ mode. (hellooooooo Desmond Morris)

I ‘dumpster dived’ again, welllll picking up stuff off the sidewalk. Here’s a horror: did I any stuff from people I know? EEEEEK.

My bikini front has two holes in it, but I just don’t care. I really don’t want to have to line it. I can’t sew!

Is not wearing underwear really a good boy catching technique? I have seen Hollywood Babylon and those Paris Hilton photos so I am too scared to do it.

I know! Veggie burger with melted cheese, french fries, and mixed vegetables! I can make it in the microwave and toaster oven! No hot stove!

Although I DO want to use the oven sometime soon and make the F,U,C, and K cookies, but hello 95 degree weekend, no no no.

Also, I don't think I'll wear the American flag lace knickers this weekend. Maybe for Bastille Day, though. Although maybe I shoud wear my Union Jack too. In fact, I am going to try it on RIGHT NOW to see if I look any good in it.

Ok now that maura's linked me, I should tidy this up, or write something more. It's just been tooooooooooo hotttttttt to feel like writing.

I knit a test swatch for the Summer Project, and I don't care I think the guage is correct! I'm gonna do it backwards i.e bra top first, mainly cause I want to wear that more than the bottoms, and it looks less complicated. Oooh, I can cut up my jeans with the big whole in the back and look like a TOTAL HIPPIE CHICK.

And so I got really drunk last weekend, which was nice and yet not. I may have scared some people with that final chug, but I had to drink it, IT WAS FREE. And now I found out I did the electronic age version of drunk dialing, and I am slightly embarrassed about the whole thing.

Does anyone have a pool and can I go swimming there???

I read The Chosen this week even though it means breaking the "No Novels except Genre Fiction" rule. Does this mean I will end up reading one of my 10th grade assignements My Name is Asher Lev?