Tonight on NPR I heard "Everything Counts"!? What sort of Anglophile do they have pick out their tunes? It's so bizarre.

I didn't shop for skirts, as I am saving my $$$ for YARN PROJECTS. I broke a crochet hook and the bought the wrong size of another. This time metal, not plastic, OOPS.

I have this plan to supplement my potential new/old P/T job. Although this will not pay, it will be experience in a field/company I want to get into. And it's not a library. I dunno, it all depends on when I get car insurance and plates! Let's just say it involves something my coworkers know nothing at all about, ho ho ho.

Ugh. I am DYING to quit this job, but I slightly fear telling the HR lady.

I kind of have the creeps about soooo many aspects of this place. Plus, ooo, another pet peeve "oh you're so quiet" UGGHHH because I have nothing to discuss!!!! Drunk driving tales and hitting kids = uhh.

Uggh near mandatory credit card account opening ugh ugh ugh.

I am so tired of defending my age!

GOD I AM SO SORRY I HAVE EVER WRINKLED MY NOSE AT 30SOMETHING COWORKER BOYS DISCUSSING RECORDS BECAUSE TEENAGE BOYS DISCUSSING CARS AND OTHERWISE BEING ANNOYING IS SO MUCH WORSE

uggg all this comment spam!!!

I had to fold men's underwear at work today. God 2xist packaging is SO FRICKING GAY. The models for the t shirt packages are going Donald Duck style: NO PANTS. You can see their cracks! Yikes!

Today I learned we are not allowed to "cuss" in the break room, but in all honesty, I neither care nor mind.

I can't decide whether to buy a slightly Paris Hiltony style skirt tomorrow, it all depends if they still have my size when I go to Arden B on my break! I keep fantasizing about potential places to wear it to, like if one set of friends has a party, it would look cute with my clark sandals and a black top, but then if this was outside, I couldn't sit because it would get dirty, and should I wear Hello Kitty underpants with it, and what color toenail polish, and what potential boys would be there but not that they would be impressed or intrigued by clothes anyway. Or should I make my yarn wrap skirt, and where should I wear that? Sigh. I really really need to reconnect with my friends because ack! I need to meet boys! And apparently the only single interesting men over 30 live in metropolitan areas i.e. NOT HERE. UGG DROUGHT UGG.

Whoa, another Pulp song on NPR, this time, Babies. Hmmm.

UGGHHH I had to hear that "Your Body is a Wonderland" song. It's so gross!!! Is that Dave Matthews? It makes me want to wear some steel tipped boots and kick him until he is missing all his teeth and his testicles are bloody. You are so excommunicated from the DDC fucko.

Also, this made me sooo mad: at lunch some coworkers got on the topic of a local serial murderer from a few years ago, and one of my lovely associates said "well, it was also the girls' fault" because they went into a car and had sex with a stranger they met a bar. UGGGGH.MMMMM I LOVE WHEN THE "COMMON SENSE" LINE GETS DRAGGED OUT. Also girls who have sex with strangers they meet at bars are bad because "they do this and they wonder why they get pregnant" Sex with strangers doesn't get you knocked up! Unprotected sex does, be it a random hookup or one's husband, I mean Jesus Christ. Thanks for calling me a whore in so many words, Robyn, but at least I'm a whore who understands the concept of contraception. UGH.

I just heard Pulp's "F.E.E.L.I.N.G.C.A.L.L.E.D.L.O.V.E." as NPR segue music!

I think I will go back to Claire's tomorrow and buy more 15 for $5 crap. Present stock up! And more stupid earrings. Maybe I will try to wear my black bracelets. Hey, what do silver ones mean in the alleged teen sex bracelet code?

I got to wear a sleeveless tee shirt today, and I am so happy. Cute clothes, I miss you!. Last week I was wearing a blacker jacket, white button down shirt and gray trousers, and I was carrying a walkie talkie (or "radio" whatever). Bleh, I looked like Olivia Benson, and we all know how well butch suits me (hint: NOT AT ALL). The next day I was all in black, and my outfit looked like late 90s britboyband, even worse. I hate you jacket! And split skirt, I won't bother sewing you up! Let's show some LEG ACTION!

Also, is it wrong to be slightly creeped out that you can earn bonuses for ratting out fellow employees?

And what about the fact that the average income of our consumers is over 100 grand? And the average transaction is probably my monthly salary?

And is it wrong to be writing about all this stuff in a blog? I think I don't care.

(Oh no! AMC blurred out bosoms!)

Dolce & Gabbana - Dole-chee and Ga-bon-nah.

Um.

CHAY CHAY CHAY

Alice and Olivia- Alice and Oh-liv-ee-ah

(people don't know how to say "Olivia"?)

I played Barbies with my nieces and nephew tonight (yes nephew!) I let S, age 6, play w some of my noncollectible one before dinner, so she wanted to come back afterwards. That accessory pack from Kay bee paid off! Tambourines and violins! P, also 6, came by and replied NOOOOOOOO! I hate Barbies! when asked to play. That lasted all of 5 minutes. K, age 2 1/2 came in and found my little toy collection including the religious tchotchkes. Then combed my hair with a Barbie. It was nice; I like people combing my hair. She also combed her hair with it , so I REALLY hope she doesn't have nits! Well, she's not in school yet. I am trying to avoid that until I have my own children.

It's fun yet odd to watch them play, as I can remember 1st grade. I remember the politics and the crushes. (note to B: including one on a certain ES, ahem). I remember likeing TWO boys and feeling guilty (maybe?) for liking two? Even then.

Even though K was having moments of super bratdom, it doesn't really bother me. I can say that not living with her 24/7. I'm usually the one who somewhat sympathizes with the crying kids. I was in the mall at 6pm on a hot Saturday watching a little Japanese boyin the middle of full meltdown. I felt bad for his mom, and after traipsing around upstate and the mall in the sun, I thought "I am so with you, kid."

oh boy

Oh! an amazon review of the Havana Room after my own heart:

The obvious error is putting future Hall of Famer Cal Ripken, Jr. at second base rather than shortstop. I can't begin to understand how this mistake was made and got past both proofreaders and editors at FSG. You don't even have to be a baseball fan to know what position Ripken excelled at.

The other mistake at page 283 is less obvious but still annoying.

I wonder if this is the LI Sound = the Atlantic. Hmmm, I am going to tell my grandma to ask if one of the errors changed in the paperback version was the baseball one.

haha also: "it's wish fulfillment for downsized, divorced, middle-aged men"

aka like rosemary gives a fuck.

"but the Havanna Room simply blows polar bears."

what what what? Hello new expression I haven't heard before!

"It's disheartenting to know that in the publishing world, connections--and not talent--are everything."

And even that does fuck all!

I also read Kathryn Harrison's Road to Santiago More travel descriptions, less personal reflections, pls k thx bye. This could have been totally fascinating, but it really wasn't.

I came across a reference to "do me" feminism in a novel today (A novel from 2003 MIGHT I ADD) Do I laugh or cry? And, oh, someone seems a bit preoccupied with cocksucking. What I'm trying to say: 75 pages in, Colin Harrison's The Havana Room seems rather dopey.

Other issues: I really don't care about the problems of overpaid Manhattan residents, not to mention my ongoing near zero interest in male angst.

Other bad experiments in my attempt at novel reading. Love is the Drug OOOOOOO. 20something women with "problems" = YAWN. The list making was a bit eh. Her taste is music was rather dumb (see my dislike for the novel Loaded as related to its tendency to describe STUPID mix tapes.) The key turnoff was the narrators claim of "What women wouldn't want to marry Lloyd Dobler?" WELL!!! I am not entirely sure how this became one of my top ten (ha ha, ok shoot me, fine) criminal offenses, but OH. Unless you want me to hurt you very badly, please do not assume I must like Say Anything/John Cusack because I am a young lady.

They're making a musical out of... Grey Gardens??? Whoa!

Is streching out and resting on one's back a fluffy cat thing? I have never seen a cat do that before we got B., but lately I have seen photos of other cats... and they are all medium to long haired.

Oh my god MAUDE is on TVLand. Is this a regular thing? Bea Arthur always wore extra long vests, didn't she? Yikes.

Oh maybe it's a Norman Lear themed night.

Wow! A house with a bar! And Maude and Walter drinking. Oh, the 70s!

Ugh, my tummy feels like its going to explode. And, ohhhh the belching.

I found astrological underpants today! Some had little jewels, some had the signs printed on, and some had a patch sewn on. Mine had a patch, boo. And they are grey with red trim. They look like boys pants. Why can't I be a Cancer pale pink on hot pink? Grumble. On the back it says "optimistic, enthusiastic, spiritual". I should make one that says "Vain, shallow, drunk, father fixations, easy". I can do embroidery on the front! Ha! And get pretty colors.

I looked at the $2 patterns. Maybe I can figure them out. Some of them are marketed as "Easy". I need to make some pretty dresses. In case I run into one of my, ahem, "harem" this summer.

I can't tell if I'm really really picky or really really easy. I have been looking at friendster and myspace and nerve for the various boys in the suburbs, and I just think uggggh. And then I think of other, uh, groups of people I know and I can easily think of dozens of boys I'd let kiss me. What's wrong with me?

Please, someone marry me, and take me away!

(Oh dear)

And I was going to stay up late to finish a book! Instead I stayed on AIM OOOPS. I hate you insomnia!

I think I have met around 100 internet acquaintances in person. I am not sure how I feel about this. The lines have definitely gotten more blurry over the years with reagrds to online versus offline. Does internet lit reflect this? My sociology of new media course was slightly frustrating in this when there were masters (masters!) degree candidates spend half an hour in a chat room and declaring the same silly things one read about "the internet" ten years earlier.

On the other hand, internet community participants half the time seem to have no knowledge of this stuff so when you bring ideas of community, there are cries of "this isn't a community!" and maybe yes maybe no.

I have my suspicions that reality isn't necessarily reflected in the research. My gut feeling is that a majority of people use email to communicate with people they already know. See also the women are buying more music than men, but why is music discourse so malecentric? (Unless you're a Riot Grrl. But that has been supplanted my 'dance music' as the genre academia would have had to invent if it didn't already exist)

(Am I spelling already correctly? All ready already all though although, I swear that 2nd grade spelling book fucked me up forever in confusing them!)

I am reading 'Sons of Camelot'. My dad died too, so where's my people cover??? My coke and sex addictions??? My stint in rehab?? This is soooooo unfair!!!

(arrrghhhh i just erased a whole long post argghghghghghg)

Oh man, taking pseudofed was a bad. It did fuck all for my headache and now INSOMNIA. Isn't this stuff supposed to make you "drowsy" (or is that allergy meds?) Insomnia means I stay up think about stuff and getting all wound up about it meaning even less like to fall asleep. So I'll just stew thinking about boys and music and feminism and my frustrations when they all interact.

I found a tape made at the Other End (this interests, oh, two of my, um, ten readers?) of one of the on campus bands. My fall semester sophomore year crush!!! My first kiss would be 30 this year. Ay yi yi. ("I feel old" watchpart 324) Looking back I am half disappointed that he didn't take more advantage of the situation of getting a willing naive youn woman alone. I mean physically, because emotionally it was a bit mindfucky which OH HELLO has set a nice pattern for my romantic sexual interactions ever since. I am also being a bit flippant about that because the whole thing could have been very very bad (danger! danger! consent issues!)(ha ha but like my consent since has never NOT been in a nebulous territory)

So I'm up and I'm all, oooh what from my library to read? Rock and Roll Confidential veers into creppy territory. Madonna = good feminist (i.e. one who likes to sleep with men) and NOW = evil. Cris Williamson gets compared to Pol Pot!! Whoa.

Which reminds me Why do the cultural studies hataz always think it equals Madonna studies. Because I don't think she was mention ONCE in any of my classes (well possibly my music course but that was Media and Communication and NOT Cult Stud. Dept proper). But god I wish she had been! Even though the debates are getting tiresome from all angles it would have been some nice relief from Mouffe and Laclau and Negri and Hardt and ARG Levi-Strauss

ME: The recommend Triste Tropique!
AS: Oh my god, I am so sorry

(The only Levi Strauss I wanna know from is the denim guy, thanks)

No wonder I prefer music writing from academic circles rather than the crit/journalism side because what is covering topics I am interested in? Gender affecting music production, consumption, and reception? Really?

Oh I forgot, the gender wars were won and are over now. Being sexy (which is of course converntially sexy, young and busty and skimpy clothes) is empowering. but like others have said before, how many scantily clad young women hold positions of power? Who's in the White House, the Congress, the local assemblies? Who is writing and enforcing laws? Empowered chicks in bikinis! Oh.

And now I am going to stay up and listen to Rank on cassette, shoot me now.