The Sinister Questionnaire

This is the results of the questionnaire which I posted to Sinister at the start of May; it was based on one that Amy wrote ages ago and posted to the list, but lost all the replies to. So far 36 people have replied (out of 1634, woo; and not counting Ian who answered most of it twice), but if more listees send in their answers I'll add them on. Thanks to all the people who have replied already (they're listed under the first question), and apologies for mutilating all your answers terribly.

I suddenly realised, when I started to collate all the answers, that I hadn't bothered to answer it myself. Ooops. They are in there now, though.

1. What's your name and where do you come from?
2. What names do you use on Sinister/#Sinister?

The answers to the second question are shown in brackets after the first. I've mostly used the first answer to question 2 to refer to people later on, if people answered it

Alyson; Austin, TX, USA (alyson, alyson snowball)
Amy Longcore; Michigan, USA (amykins, applekins, amyjacks, amylove)
Arik; "i was born in southern california, my parents live in seattle, i go to school in ohio, i've lived in boston, san francisco, and soon scotland." (arik)
Aruni; North Carolina by way of Ney York City (Aruni)
Ben Apps; from Manchester but lives in London. (Ben, Bapps, Bappsy, Apps Ben)
Mark Casarotto; SW London (Biondino, crack-ers, Big Gay Mark)
Jeremy Tweddle; Perth, Australia (breams)
Caitlin; Edinburgh (pigtails, gneissy)
Danny Farrell; Stevenston, Scotland (dannypie)
Dimitra; Thessaloniki, Greece (Zozefina, zoziepop, Dimitra Daisy)
Eric; New York, NY (Cheesybun, Eric)
Luiz Fernando Brito da Silva; "I was born in a little beach town called Iguape, state of Sao Paulo, Brazil. Today I live in this huge grey city called Sao Paulo." (Fernando)
Georgina Lesley Titchener; High Wycome, Bucks, now living in York. (gina)
Greg; London, but "I stem from a line of declined aristocratic Greeks." (The_Boy_G)
Hannah Brown; Leicester (hannah brown)
Ian; "Birmingham, mostly" (ian, saint peter, hobart)
Kristin Mitchell; Livingston, Scotland (idleberry, popnoodle, noodles)
J; from the USA, but currently living in the former Yugoslavia . (s_gazzetti)
Kieran; Birmingham (kieran)
Laura Llew, the promised land, aka western Carolina (Millkmaid, Petullant, FlanCulp, Quasimodo, Llerbie, SwampRat)
Lorna; Crieff, Scotland (SillyLorna)
Lucy; Dalry ("not the one associated with Chris Geddes, I'm afraid") (lucyla)
Ms. Mandee May; Greeley, CO (mandee may, mandalion, wolfshirt)
Marisa; from Florida, currently in Boston (marisa, bellaphoto, hartley)
Melissa Williams; Fort Worth, TX (melmoz)
Michael Grant; Glasgow (michael grant)
Neil; London ("I do not post. yet")
Robyn Hesser; Fort Collins, CO (Robyncm)
Gordon; Scotland (rouss)
Ann Foreyt; "Colfax, WA (tiny little brainwashed town)" (Salako, Ann)
Matthew Salp; Cedarburg, WI (Salp)
Sam Walton; North London (Asm)
Rachal; from "up north" but living in London (scooby)
Shannon Jean Maney; Ottawa, and Normal, IL (Shannyjean, imshanny)
Vanessa; Austria (vansie, vaingirl, vdivx, Clodia)
Zoe Charaktinou; from Athens, living in Birmingham (bellezc)

3. How long have you been on Sinister?

The largest group of people who answered -- 40% -- had been on the list under a year, with only four people owning up to longer than three years. Seven people, at least, had subscribed to the list more than once.

4. How old are you?

The high point of the answers was around 18-20, slowly tailing off after that. Only a couple of people were under 18, and there was a mysterious lack of 19-year-olds.

5. Describe your first snog. Oh, go on.

"By this do you mean penetrative sex? It was so romantic, you would die... Afterwards, she complimented me on my 'stamina', which for a first-timer has got to be a plus." (s_gazzetti) (and no, i didn't mean that :-)

"do i get bonus points for knowing what 'snog' means? ... in the immortal words of Mick Cooke, 'Better than a kick in the balls with a diver's boot.' ... it was warm and melty and blurry and awkward and all-of-a-sudden." (aruni)

"Scary!" (Bapps)

"Timid. I barely touched tongues, I was too scared. I made up for it by meeting her again four years later and doing it properly." (Biondino)

"Scary...not because she wasn't nice, just because I was awkward." (breams)

"It was a result of not ducking quickly enough. More miss than kiss, more teeth than mouth, and more traumatic than Mentos commercials" (Millkmaid)

"I was 17, little, in school, and never really thinking of boys ... I sat on a window and I wrote him a letter during a thunderstorm. The letter was a lot like a post. ... a reply came, a proper hand-written reply ... it was his 47th birthday. And I wasn't sure I wanted a snog, but I was proud when I got one, it was the proof that the world I imagined was somehow true." (Zozefina)

"I've been training for so long... kissing my arms! But I had no idea that I had to use my tongue! When it finally happened I thought 'So that's it? Hmmm... I'd better start using my tongue... NOW!!!'" (fernando)

"i was in high school. it was with a much younger boy. we were both drunk. it was lots of fun!" (alyson)

"Rubbish. Drunken. With a girl called Lisa. She sat on my lap. I didn't enjoy it very much. I was sick shortly afterwards. The two events were not related." (ian)

"1985, at the roller rink in Crowley, Texas. It was a group-planned outing; two other 11 year old 'couples' and us made plans to all french kiss at the same time, thus lessening the embarrassment of actually doing it on our own. In the background, 'That's What Friends Are For' by Dionne Warwick was playing. I worse something hideous like blue stirrup-pants and a blue and gold sweater. How 80s I was." (melmoz)

"It was in the doorway of an old building; I think it was the National Trust of Scotland's head office, on Charlotte Square. I'd been plied with drink all night. Some men walked past, looked at us and said: 'Time to go home for coffee!'" (pigtails)

"He's persistent, and not bad looking. We stop at (extremely) heavy petting, in the end, because I'm straight and twee and mainly because I'm afraid my friends will turn round and see." (The_Boy_G)

"With a fella named Birdie Birdashaw (NOT joking). We were watching Reservoir Dogs together and I noticed his arm starting to creep around my shoulders. I just knew we were gonna SNOG later on, and we did. It was not a good snog." (mandee may)

"I don't even remember her name. I'm such a man-slut ... it all seemed very alien and weird." (michael grant)

"...i was complaining about not having kissed anyone when she said 'fuck it, you have to learn sometime' and leaned over and kissed me." (arik)

"It was a girl. I was 14. It was sort of icky. I guess because I turned gay later." (Cheesybun)

"Was 15, went to a dodgy party and met a spotty bloke with braces. I said to myself, whatever happens I must not get off with him. I got off with him and he tried (and failed) to shag me. It was a bit sloppy and horrid." (hannah)

"A lot of people were snogging round us so we kind of looked at each other and moved closer and he started kissing me. Need I say he was wearing braces? It was great, because I had a huge crush on him. But we left it at that -- a snog. Sniff." (bellezc)

"I was on a summer orchestra course. There was this cellist who was rather nice, and we gazed at each other across the stage for the week. On the Friday, when there was a 'Going Home Disco', we sneaked out round the back of the main building. We could hear 'Stay (I Missed You) by Lisa Loeb and Nine Stories wafting through the summer air when our lips met. I was 12 years and 2 weeks old." (Asm)

"I sold the rights to Mills and Boon." (kieran)

"John **** kissed the shit out of me" (amykins)

"I think I was drunk." (gina)

6. What was the first novel you read that really made you all excited about life and stuff?

There was a lot of variety in this one; lots of people listed more than one.

"The Catcher In The Rye" (alyson, amykins, hannah, Asm, bellezc, lucyla)
"The Lion, The Witch And The Wardrobe" (dannypie, kieran)
"The Dharma Bums" (salako, salp)
"On The Road" (neil from london, bellecz)
"The Fountainhead" (Cheesybun, Robyncm)
"To Kill A Mockingbird" (aruni, Millkmaid)
"Catch 22" (Biondino)
"Farenheit 451" (Robyncm)
"The Outsider" (scooby)
"One Hundred Years Of Solitude" (aruni)
"Midnight's Children" (aruni)
"All Quiet On The Western Front" (salako)
"A House For Mr Biswas" (kieran)
"The Little Prince" (breams)
"The Picture Of Dorian Gray" (dannypie)
"Franny and Zooey" (marisa)
"Island" (ian)
"Lolita" (mandee may)
"The Sun Also Rises" (s_gazzetti)
"Trainspotting" (SillyLorna)
"The Troublesome Offspring of Cardinal Guzman" (michael grant)
"Charlie And The Chocolate Factory" (shannyjean)

"I have no idea. The most recent one was prob. High Fidelity, which kind of makes me sad" (arik)

"If we're talking about as a child, probably Finn Family Moomintroll" (Biondino)

"'Senhora: Profile of a Woman', by Jose de Alencar. Now I think it's only regular, but when I read it for the first time it made me lose my breath." (fernando)

"'Generation X' made me all depressed about life and stuff -- is that the same?" (gina)

"Something Greek you probably have never heard of about a boy becoming friends with a tree on the pavement in front of his house." (Zozefina)

"I do remember reading 'Are You There God It's Me Margaret' in the 4th grade and being apprehensive about becoming a 'woman'" (melmoz)

"Oh dear. Probably 'Pawn of Prophecy' by David Eddings or some similar fantasy novel." (rouss)

"I think it would have been the first Earthsea book. Because my dad force-fed me the fantasy genre from a young age, in an effort to ruin my pre-teen credibility. It was great, at the time, though." (The_Boy_G)

"I remember being into the Enid Blyton Famous Five/Secret Seven books in a big way. I used to sit up all night reading them when I was 8, until my parents would catch me and I'd be forced to hide beneath the covers with a torch." (idleberry)

7. What's your favourite board or card game?

The clear winner here was Scrabble, with 7 votes. Monopoly was second, with four. Uno, rummy and Trivial Pursuit each got three, and Cluedo, chess and Mao both got two. Other more lonely favourites include Pictionary (Biondino), Twister (shannyjean), Go (salp) and "MALL MADNESS!" (mandee may, of course).

8. Vowel or Consonant?

31% vowel, 56% consonant, 13% "Eh, what are you talking about?", "Both" or similar, and one "One of those that's an a and e half-merged together." (Biondino)

"My favourite word in the Slovene tongue is 'smrdljivec', 'stink bug', which you will notice is short on vowels. Learning Slovene makes you realise how overrated vowels really are." (s_gazzetti)

"This question makes me think of Wheel of Fortune" (Millkmaid. It was *supposed* to make you think of Countdown.)

"[Vowels are] nice especially in Greek and they have colours. In my mind." (Zozefina)

9. First movie that made you cry. I know you have, just admit it.

"ET" (amykins, Bapps, Biondino, melmoz, scooby)
"Bambi" (arik, aruni, shannyjean)
"The Shawshank Redemption" (aruni, dannypie)
"Edward Scissorhands" (gina, The_Boy_G)
"Bram Stoker's Dracula" (alyson)
"Awakenings" (breams)
"Harold And Maude" (salp)
"Fried Green Tomatoes..." (Cheesybun)
"Ma Vie En Rose" (ian)
"It's A Wonderful Life" (Asm)
"My Girl" (idleberry)
"Savannah Smiles" (mandee may)
"Roman Holiday" (marisa)
"The Railway Children" (rouss)
"American Beauty" (Robyncm)
"Life Is Beautiful" (salako)
"Dead Poets Society" (bellezc)

"Does Bambi count? Shawshank Redemption? But there must have been something in between." (aruni)

"First one? That's impossible. Probably The Sound Of Music or something." (s_gazzetti)

"I can't remember the first one, but I do remember the last: Dancer In The Dark, last Thursday, on TV." (fernando)

"Either Edward Scissorhands or Drop Dead Fred (the ending is a killer)" (gina)

"The Lion King. Ahem." (lucyla)

"I'd also have to say that The Fox And The Hound scarred me emotionally" (marisa)

"Home videos of my mother when she was a child. The hair and clothes are enough to bring tears to anyone's eyes." (Millkmaid)

"Jock Of The Bushveld. Afrikaans film about a loyal dog who ultimately gets killed doing his duty. Long story, but wonderful." (neil from london)

10. First B&S song you heard that made you realise you'd never go back?

"Go back where?" (vansie, bellezc)

The State I Am In (lucyla, melmoz, shannyjean, arik, fernando, Zozefina)
Stars Of Track And Field (hannah, amykins, aruni)
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying (ian, pigtails)
Judy And The Dream Of Horses (gina, salp)
Dog On Wheels (neil from london, bellezc)
Century Of Fakers (The_Boy_G, Biondino)
It Could Have Been A Brilliant Career (alyson, breams)
Seeing Other People (mandee may, Cheesybun)
We Rule The School (michael grant, dannypie)
Beautiful (Bapps)
Dirty Dream Number Two (Millkmaid)
O Come O Come Emmanuel (Robyncm)
Slow Graffiti (marisa)
I Love My Car (SillyLorna)
I Fought In A War (salako)
If You're Feeling Sinister (Millkmaid)
Sleep The Clock Around (idleberry)
There's Too Much Love (scooby)
The Boy With The Arab Strap (Asm)

"I heard [Century Of Fakers] on the radio, my first B&S moment, and was utterly convinced it was the most perfect thing I'd ever sensed. And it's still my favourite." (The_Boy_G)

"Dog On Wheels. First track I ever heard by them. All I needed." (neil from london)

"One of my ambitions is to have Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying played on hospital radio. I think I'll choose it for my funeral too." (pigtails)

"When [Tigermilk] started, it immediately made me smile, like I have just found something that would change my life forever. And it changed." (fernando)

"I might still go back -- the greasy but ultimately more satisfying world of nu metal is looking quite tempting at the moment" (kieran)

11. Best concert/show/gig/whatever?

First, the B&S answers:

QMU, Glasgow, 2001 (pigtails, idleberry, michael grant)
Austin, TX, 2002 (alyson)
New York, 2002 (aruni)
Rimini, 2002 (s_gazzetti)
Brixton, 2002 (scooby)
Belfast, 2001 (SillyLorna)
Barrowlands, Glasgow, 2001 (the first one) (dannypie)
Barrowlands, Glasgow, 2001 (either) (michael grant)
Scarborough, 2001 (gina)
Sao Paulo (fernando)

And, the others:

Moe Tucker (Cheesybun)
Karate; Columbus, OH (arik)
Pulp, Manchester Arena (Bapps)
Pulp, Glastonbury 1998 (Asm)
My Bloody Valentine, London Town And Country Club (Biondino)
Lambchop, RAH (breams)
Baxendale, ROTA (The_Boy_G)
Tindersticks, 2001 (hannah)
David Bowie, Glastonbury 2000 (ian)
Hefner, the Medicine Bar (kieran)
Hefner, the Point (michael grant)
Travis, Barrowlands (michael grant)
Morrisey, somewhere in Georgia (marisa)
Morrisey, somewhere unspecified (melmoz)
Depeche Mode (melmoz)
Radiohead, Oxford (neil from london)
Kings Of Convenience, Union Chapel, London (Asm)
Ben Folds Five, 2000 Summerfest (salp)
Bumbershoot, Seattle's Fest'o'the Arts (Robyncm)
Claire Lemmon, the Red Eye, Islington (rouss)
Nick Cave, Vienna 2001 (vansie)
REM, Athens (Greece, not Georgia), 1998 (bellezc)
The Nits, Thessaloniki, 26th June 1995 (Zozefina)
Weezer (salako)
"Stereolab, I imagine" (amykins)

12. How far would you have to stretch your arms to show just how much you adore Princess Honey?

The general consensus seems to be "a very long way indeed."

"About... {=========o===========) much, say?" (The_Boy_G)

"<---------------------------> gee, that's not very far, is it?" (aruni)

"<--------------------------------------------------->" (bapps)

"About three yards." (Asm)

"The size of a cow." (ian)

"As far as I can throw them." (SillyLorna)

"From here to yonder valley, m'lad." (lucyla -- I didn't realise she was from Yorkshire)

"Basingstoke" (Biondino)

"I'd fly to Edinburgh to hug her :)" (Zozefina)

"I would have to be made of stretchy rubber... I cannot stretch my arms that far." (alyson)

"Too far. Someone might think I was trying to hail a taxi." (rouss)

"To the moon!" (Cheesybun)

"the world isn't big enough" (arik)

13. What artists do you admire? Which do we deserve to know more about?

There was, of course, a big load of variety here, partly because I didn't make it clear what "artists" means. Um, well, I guess it means anything you want, anyway.

"There are lots." (ian)

"astrud gilberto!" (amykins)

"Tim Burgess, Björk, oh this is too hard." (hannah)

"Beethoven, Van Gogh and Metallica!" (SillyLorna)

"Admire: Hitchcock, Monet, Warhol, Mike Leigh, Nick Drake, the Coen brothers. Know more about: Ayn Rand." (Cheesybun)

"Gary Lutz, Ben Marcus, Matthew Derby, Diane Williams, Cindy Sherman, Diane Arbis, Modigliani, Van Gogh, Warhol, Robert Mapplethorpe, Egon Scheile, Emily Dickinson, Rainer Maria Rilke, that guy that does explodingdog.com!" (mandee may)

"no-one you probably won't know already: Neil Hannon, Pulp, the books of Michael Frayn, erm ... I dunno! I'm uneducated!" (Bapps)

"Musicians: Gillian Welch, Amy Annelle. Authors: J L Carr, Carson McCullers, Tennessee Williams, Daniel Handler (Lemony Snicket). Illustrators: Brett Helquist. Great wits: Dorothy Parker (naturally)." (Millkmaid)

"I'm a photographer so I'd have to say Robert Frank, Henri Cartier-Bresson, Joseph Kouldelka and Helen Leavitt. Each of them have an incredible, compassionate eye and are able to capture humanity with complete sincerity." (marisa)

"Everyone would smile more if they read almost anything by Mark Helprin. His best novel is one of the most beautiful, life-affirming books I've ever read, called A Soldier Of The Great War." (s_gazzetti)

"Admire: Sleater-Kinney, L S Lowry, Paul Simon, Billy Bragg. Other bit: Ballboy, Simon Armitage (poet), Lucksmiths, Dressy Bessy, Ladybird Ladybird, I Am Kloot, Beulah." (gina)

"Magritte was a lovely painter although his pictures seem very unemotional on the surface. Cartier-Bresson is the world's best photographer, and other great ones include Bill Brandt, Paul Strand, Julia Margaret Cameron, and the Annan family. And Alasdair Gray is a wonderful writer who has even shared a stage with B&S." (pigtails)

"Bridget Riley, Barbera Hepworth... me" (scooby)

"Arthur C Clarke. He is the only person I know who managed to become a genius in both scientific and literary fields. Augusto dos Anjos; his poems are filled with formulas, theories, descriptions of internal organs. But even so they are like music, like science was some kind of art." (fernando)

"Gerhard Richter is very good. You don't deserve to know more about him, though." (kieran)

"Artists who deserve more attention are a few people from the Greek music scene. There are some bands from a record company called This Happy Feeling. The music from these people is amazing." (bellezc)

"jim mahfood, chynna clugston-major and andi watson, my three favourite indieish comic book people." (arik)

"The Band Of Holy Joy. The Nits. The Smiths. And Raining Pleasure, and a few other Greek people with Greek names" (Zozefina)

"you deserve to know more about a band from peoria, illinois called 'the kill-o-watts' and a lovely boy named tyson from that band who has his own project called 'analog saves the planet.'" (alyson)

"I don't trust myself with judging the visual arts" (aruni)

14. Got any siblings?

I could have worked out huge piles of exciting demographic data from this question. But, let's face it, it wouldn't really have been very exciting. I did count that between us we have well over fifty brothers and sisters, plus lots more in complex extended relationships. Seven people said they have none at all -- is that more or less than average? I have no idea. Some people have brothers who have died -- I have no idea how that feels, either, but I want to give you a hug.

Whatever the details, we certainly have a big family. In fact, if you stacked all our brothers and sisters up from end to end, that would definitely confirm their suspicions that we are freaky weirdos.

15. Ever genuinely had an internet crush?

58% yes, 42% no -- rather close. None of you mentioned any names though, you spoilsports.

"yes *guilty smile*" (salako)

"many, many times" (mandee may)

"i'm fantastically skeptical about the whole notion of falling in love over the internet" (kieran)

"More importantly, I've made many genuine friends via this so-called interweb thingy, and I love it more and more with each contact." (s_gazzetti)

16. Ever had a crush on someone you shouldn't have?

The consensus on this one seems to be "hell, yeah!" -- 83% yes, 17% no.

"hasn't everybody?" (ian, and a few other people)

"far too often!" (amykins)

"Of course, that's the fun of it" (scooby)

"There's no rules maaan!" (Bapps)

17. On someone a lot older or younger than you?

53% yes, 47% no, although of course noone agreed on what "a lot older or younger" means.

"Haha. Sort of." (lucyla: I think that counts as a yes)

"Is 16 years a LOT older? ;-)" (idleberry)

"The first person I snogged was 30 years older than me. The second one 21. The third one just 2. I'll stop now." (Zozefina)

"I have had so many crushes on older men who I found highly intelligent. I think it's because my first crush was on the Professor on 'Gilligan's Island' when I was 5. Don't laugh!!" (marisa)

18. Ever been embarrassed by something you've posted on Sinister?

58% yes, 33% no and 9% maybe or don't know -- which includes ian, after he answered yes the first time and no the second. A lot of people seem to get embarrassed by everything they post, which makes me wonder why we have anything on the list at all.

"uhhh that one time I posted to Sinister begging for money? That probably wasn't such a good idea." (mandee may)

"No, I don't post much. Although I am beginning to get embarrassed about my responses to this thing." (alyson)

"Surprisingly, no. I've gotten a lot of replies from my posts saying that I should have been embarassed..." (Millkmaid)

"People periodically search for my name on Google or, worse, their own names. Last month Gigi Hyphenated-Poshperson found the post in which a seventeen-year-old G listed the people he absolutely loathed. That was ... ungood." (The_Boy_G, who is still only 18 now. Names have been changed, and so on)

"Yes, but not really because of content, just the idea of writing to 1600 strangers." (aruni)

"I think I used 'twee' the wrong way a few times" (Zozefina)

"i think i am the queen of embarassing posts, i had a go at ken chu because i thought he was being mean and i accidentally sent a crush to sinister" (hannah)

"I sometimes violate the 'don't drink and post' rule, which results in my awakening thinking, 'I didn't post last night, did I ... urg!?'" (s_gazzetti)

"i'm sure anything i say about wanking most people can identify with. Its just they don't want to admit they do it." (idleberry)

"i wouldn't take a word of it back though" (kieran)

19. ... or something someone else has posted on Sinister?

47% yes, 53% no. See, all you people who are embarrassed every time you post, there's nothing to worry about.

"Yes. Bastards." (amykins)

"if i was ken chu i would say yes. but i'm not. hee hee hee." (shannyjean)

"I'm embarrassed by all of Ken Chu's posts. I'm not even sure he really exists." (s_gazzetti)

"that one kid who said Sinister was for LOOOOOOSERS. Um, what's his name?" (mandee may)

"I want to die in humiliation for people who use Sinister as their online diary. It's painful when I know more about other people's sex lives than my own simply by their posts." (Millkmaid)

"When Hannah Brown posted her crush to the list, I was embarrassed for her" (Bapps)

20. Worst 70s song? 80s song? 90s song?

Lots of people couldn't think of songs from particular periods, so I'm just going to moosh them all together:
"Copacabana" (s_gazzetti)
"In The Summertime" (Biondino)
"Torn Between Two Lovers" (mandee may)
"Stayin' Alive" (Salp)
"Puppy Love" (lucyla)
"I Will Survive" (salako)
"Disco Inferno (shudder)" (Aruni)
"Tainted Love" (gina)
"Take On Me" (lucyla)
"Ebeneezer Goode" (lucyla)
"Survivor, by that girl trio -- what's their name, anyway?" (Fernando)
The Eagles, "Lyin' Eyes" (breams)
Paper Lace, "The Night Chicago Died" (melmoz)
Dexy's Midnight Runners, "Come On Eileen" (melmoz)
The Thompson Twins, "Doctor Doctor" (alyson)
Taco, "Putting On The Ritz" (mandee may)
J. Geils Band, "Freeze Frame" (breams)
Bon Jovi, "Living On A Prayer" (Asm)
Bon Jovi, "I'll Be There For You" (Aruni)
Tiffany, "I think etc etc" (hannah brown)
4 Non Blondes, "I Touch Myself" (marisa)
C&C Music Factory, "Things That Make You Go Hmmmmm" (mandee may)
2 Unlimited, "No Limit" (breams)
Whitney Houston, "I Will Always Love You" (idleberry)
Toploader, "Dancing In The Moonlight" (Asm)
"anything by Michael Bolton or Kenny G" (marisa)
"anything by Britney Spears or Nsync" (salako)
"anything by the Backstreet Boys or Britney Spears" (Aruni)
"anything done by Celine Dion or a boy band" (robyncm)
"anything by New Kids On The Block" (alyson)
"anything by Gary Glitter or Wham" (idleberry)
"anything by the Black Crowes" (arik)
"anything by Limp Bizkit" (Cheesybun)
"horrible trance music, like Ann Lee's Two Times" (dannypie)
"boy bands. i'll say no more" (amykins)

"I can't think of a bad eighties song, in all genuineness. I can't think of any seventies songs." (The_Boy_G, who is only ickle)

"A bad 70s song?! That's impossible!" (Fernando)

"There was this song that was sent to the Eurovision to represent Greece called The Clown. I'll just say that the chorus was: "I'm the clown, clown, clown." It was in Greek, but I think you don't need to know more." (bellezc)

"I don't know... I'm too young and I don't care about bad things." (Zoziepop)

"There are no worst songs. Just ones I don't like much when other people might like them. So I wouldn't want to offend anyone." (SillyLorna)

"There are SOOO many bad ones. I could probably produce a top ten. Black Lace? Jive Bunny?" (ian. incidentally, a friend of mine sang on a Jive Bunny record - oh, the shame of it.)

"I don't listen to bad music cos it gives me menstrual cramps." (vansie)

21. Worst 80s snog? 90s snog?

I should have remembered, of course, that the vast majority of us are far too young to have been snogging anyone in the 1980s.

"My first one" (neil from london)

"The girl I lived with for waaay too long." (s_gazzetti)

"all my snogs were quite nice" (Zoziepop)

"There is no such thing as a 'worst' snog. Although there was this one girl from the Ukraine. She had another friend too the next day, and neither of them could speak English to, erm, speak of." (rouss)

"some girl I pulled because my friends were all bitching to me. Peer pressure = bad." (dannypie)

"my first with my current bloke" (gina)

"The man I met at 'The Dorchester' one night who sucked my neck and left me with horrible, horrible lovebites. I've never let anyone do that since." (ian)

"This kid I know. He kissed like a three year old. Not like I know what a three year old kisses like. But, if I had to decide what a three year old would kiss like, a three year old would kiss like this dude." (mandee may)

"Can't say: karma will bite me on the arse. No, her name wasn't Karma." (breams)

"Kissing your stalker is a bad bad idea." (arik)

22. Most overrated band?

Lots of these were described as: "they're good - but not that good." Lots of others, though, are pish.

Oasis (lucyla, michael grant, Salp, scooby, bellezc)
The Strokes (alyson, arik, Cheesybun, gina)
Stereophonics (Biondino, idleberry, neil from london)
Creed (amykins, melmoz)
The Smiths (Bapps, rouss)
U2 (s_gazzetti, melmoz)
At The Drive In (ian)
Bare Naked Ladies (marisa)
The Beatles (gina)
The Beach Boys (gina)
Blur (ian)
The Charlatans (ian)
Cooper Temple Clause (gina)
Dave Matthews Band (Aruni)
The Doors (Biondino)
Eminem (ian)
Manic Street Preachers (Asm)
New Order (rouss)
The Red Bulldozers (Millkmaid. I'm not sure if she's serious.)
Radiohead (dannypie)
Sleater Kinney (marisa)
Soundgarden (marisa)
Staind (Salako)
The Stone Roses (ian)
Travis (hannah brown)
Will Young (The_Boy_G)

"So many to choose from. I'd say most radio-friendly next-big-things are overrated beyound belief." (breams)

"Almost any band that people tend to go on about on Sinister." (rouss)

"There's always stuff that I dislike that will be rated highly by some people." (vansie)

"If I could gouge out the eyes of Bono with a gimlet, well, I guess I might" (s_gazzetti)

"The Charlatans. Every song is a rip-off." (ian, what do you *expect* from a band called The Charlatans?)

"It has to be the Stone Roses. I mean, their music was good. Some of it was very good. But it wasn't the ground-breaking revolution people paint it as." (ian, who gave a very full answer to this one)

"Will Young represents society's rejection of the threatening other. And is unworthy to sing in the same zip code as Gareth." (The_Boy_G -- zip code? huh?)

"I'll leave pop bands along, because that's a whole different kettle of fish. But Stereophonics are apparently indie, which gives me reason to attack them." (idleberry)

"The Smiths. I like 'em, just not that much. This is anonymous, huh?" (Bapps)

"I'm tempted to say B&S" (gina)

23. Got any pets?

Half of you don't. A quarter of you (roughly) just have one, 9% have three and the rest have more. Two people have six each, and Lucy has eleven - do you live on a farm or something?. Ann has "loads" and Ian just said "yes". Quite a few of you have pets who died recently, and therefore deserve a big hug.

"My old black Labrador, Ben, is living with my best friend, and I miss the dog much more than the friend. Some day I'll have him here with me, but he doesn't understand that." (s_gazzetti)

"Alas, Rolo and Polo are chomping Marigolds in the hereafter" (rouss)

"I have the best dog in the world: Miss Flannery. Her website is at http://missflannery.blogspot.com. She rules." (Millkmaid)

"I used to have a roomie who was kinda like a pet. He wasn't able to do anything by himself, so I had to treat him like he was a dog, or something. One day I got tired, and last week I kicked him out!" (fernando)

24. Who from Sinister would you most like to meet (but haven't)?

Honey (bellezc)
Aunt Sadie (rouss, Millkmaid)
Laura Llew (bellezc, Asm, rouss, pigtails, The_Boy_G, gina, Cheesybun, alyson)
Ken Chu (bellezc, Salp, Robyncm, melmoz, gina, alyson)
Mandee May (pigtails, The_Boy_G, breams, Bapps)
Amy Longcore (pigtails, dannypie, Biondino)
Kirsten Kenyon (ian, arik, amykins)
Danny Farrell (michael grant, who has met him since filling in the questionnaire. amykins, who hasn't)
Madeleine McNeil (amykins, Millkmaid)
Archel Playforth (amykins)
Caitlin Pigtails (ian, amykins)
Brian Winters (Millkmaid)
Chris Perriman (hannah brown)
Genevieve Wesley (breams)
Gummi from Iceland (breams)
Ian (michael grant)
Idleberry (bellezc)
Jeremy Breams (melmoz)
Jenowl (breams)
Jonny Carr (gina)
Dirty Vicar (bellezc)
Mark Casarotto (amykins)
Matthew Henderson (salako - who didn't specify *which* Matthew Henderson)
Paisley (pigtails)
Peter Miller (Millkmaid)
S. Gazzetti (fernando)
Richard Pushong (Millkmaid)
Ulla (breams)

"Um, all of you" (mandee may)

"Seeing as I haven't met any of them, EVERYONE!" (aruni)

"There are lots of people I'd like to meet, but I'm afraid they'd be horribly disappointed by how dull I really am." (kieran)

"Aside from the obvious cult leaders Chu and Llew? Oh um ... oh fuck it, I want to meet them all!" (alyson)

25. Which B&S song gets in your head the most? Which other song?

The Boy With The Arab Strap (Aruni, kieran, SillyLorna)
Judy And The Dream Of Horses (Cheesybun, gina, ian)
Belle and Sebastian (amykins, pigtails)
Century Of Fakers (gina, vansie)
Dirty Dream Number Two (s_gazzetti, Millkmaid)
Get Me Away From Here, I'm Dying (Aruni, mandee may)
I'm Waking Up To Us (s_gazzetti, salako)
Lazy Line Painter Jane (neil from london, bellezc)
Legal Man (alyson, idleberry)
Rollercoaster Ride (ian, marisa)
Seeing Other People (fernando, Robyncm)
Sleep The Clock Around (dannypie, neil from london)
The State I Am In (marisa, rouss)
You Made Me Forget My Dreams (breams, The_Boy_G)
Chalet Lines (arik)
Dog On Wheels (marisa)
Don't Leave The Light On Baby (arik)
Expectations (scooby)
Hurley's Having Dreams (pigtails)
I Love My Car (Shannyjean)
Is It Wicked Not To Care? (Cheesybun)
It Could Have Been A Brilliant Career (hannah brown)
Jonathan David (Asm)
Like Dylan In The Movies (bellezc)
Marx And Engels (melmoz)
Le Pastie De La Bourgeoisie (melmoz)
Put The Book Back On The Shelf (Biondino)
Seymour Stein (Salp)
She's Losing It (lucyla)
Storytelling (michael grant)
There's Too Much Love (scooby)
We Rule The School (Shannyjean)

"Avenues", Whiskeytown (dannypie)
"Deceptacon", Le Tigre (Biondino)
"Good Vibrations", the Beach Boys (lucyla)
"Jeane", The Smiths (amykins)
"London Loves You", Jacques (vansie)
"Love Will Tear Us Apart", Joy Division (idleberry)
"My math teacher's a porn star", 1209towanda (alyson)
"Not So Manic Now", Dubstar (gina)
"6am Morningside", The Clientele (pigtails)
"Up With People", Lambchop (breams)
"Video Killed The Radio Star", Buggles (idleberry)

"The 'Somebody Kill Me Please' song from The Wedding Singer (oh wait, that's just in my economics class)" (salako)

"Sooo hard to choose. They pop up frequently and randomly. I CAN'T pick one!" (Bapps)

"I've put almost everything from the early EPs together onto a single disc, and I play it as if it's performing some house-cleaning function." (s_gazzetti)

"I'm not sure I could pick just one. There would have to be about twenty." (ian)

"I have a little radio inside my head, and it plays everything from Beethoven to Sepultura" (fernando)

"Songs that get in my head tend to annoy me. Recently, I found myself waiting for the bus, realising that I'd been repeating the theme tune from Heidi in my head all afternoon." (rouss)

"I had the Bullseye theme tune in my head for the whole of last Wednesday after my brother downloaded it." (kieran)

26. Ever been in a car crash?
27. Who did you blame for it?

61% yes, 39% no. I have tried very hard not to make any innuendos about "rear-ending".

"Yes, and because of it I fell in love with the wrong girl. I spent the night with her in hospital, and you know ... we connected. I blamed her boyfriend. He was driving." (fernando)

"Not really. I've seen someone get run over though. Luckily they were alright afterwards, but it's a pretty harrowing sight." (kieran)

"No, but I have been hit by a car. I nearly died and lost my sense of smell." (hannah brown)

"Yes, on Bonfire Night 1988. I sued my dad over it, although it wasn't really his fault." (pigtails)

"No, but my mum's ex-boyfriend was run over. He didn't die, though." (lucyla, who sounds slightly disappointed)

"Slippery road on the way to a holiday camp (my mum on a 'we're not posh' pledge). I sat there thinking how exciting it all was, and then (because I'm self-conscious and absurd) about the fact that I was feeling excited. Blame? I was SO grateful that something had happened!" (The_Boy_G)

"A small rear-ender. I blamed the girl two cars ahead of me, and Sam Walton. He is responsible for so much evil." (Robyncm)

28. Worst job you've ever had?

"That's easy. McDonalds" (ian)

"McDonalds grill cook. It was a glimpse of Dante's Inferno, only stupider" (s_gazzetti)

"Car book salesperson. Yes, I sold books about cars for two years" (breams)

"Telesales" (Biondino)

"Picking hair from sinks" (SillyLorna)

"Silver Service waitressing (the only job I've ever had" (gina)

"Nursing Assistant. It gave a whole new meaning to the term 'sweating with the oldies'" (Millkmaid)

"Shelving books at my college library" (Aruni)

"Sending out letters for the Benefits Agency" (Bapps)

"I worked in the 1996 Brazilian census. I worked with the most ignorant people I've ever met. It was my first job, I wasn't used to waking up that early, so I used to spend my days napping over my desk." (fernando)

"Usher at a huge megaplex cinema" (alyson)

"Working in Next children's department over Christmas. It was hell." (michael grant)

"De-bagging prawns" (hannah brown)

"Nannying for the Spoiled Brats From Hell" (Robyncm)

"Working on a factory line stuffing sanitary towels into boxes" (neil in london)

"Trying to get people to join the Landesbund für Vogelschutz" (vansie)

"I worked in a local shop (for local people) and was regularly chatted up by passing heroin addicts. I couldn't count change under pressure, so threw in the, erm, tartan pinnie" (lucyla)

"In an all-night pizza place in a college town. Puke everywhere!" (amykins)

"I used to slice meat in a deli. It was groooooss." (Shannyjean)

"Work experiance at the Times Literary Supplement. They were all really nice and went around drinking wine, but it was still two weeks of opening packages" (The_Boy_G)

"Video store employee" (arik)

"Ringing out groceries in Winn Dixie" (marisa)

"Testing car horns" (Asm)

"It was at an office in trendy Hoxton. Arriving in the office half an hour late on the first morning I announced my intention to smoke some cigarettes out on the fire escape. I don't normally smoke, but I was still pissed from the night before (and the bottle of Banrock Station Grenache I'd drunk with my breakfast). At lunchtime, I invited the other new recruit to join me at a famous strip bar round the corner from the office. I invited everyone else too, but only he accompanied me. I spent the afternoon making illegible scribbles. The afternoon of the second day was mostly spent holed up in the toilet guzzling minatures of dark rum. Then I fell asleep. I was fired the following morning. Then I bought a big bottle of dark rum." (rouss)

"I've had the same job for four years, and it's the only job I've ever had. This doesn't leave me much room for debate here." (mandee may)

29. Ever been in unrequited love?

75% yes, 19% no, and the rest either didn't answer or weren't sure what the question meant. I'm surprised the yes total was so low, frankly.

"Yes, it's hell" (Robyncm)

"Yes, my first crush. He never knew, but I figured if he would have liked me he would have said so." (marisa)

"No. Unless, perhaps, Jeff Buckley counts." (lucyla)

"Yes, a few. I even sent one of them flowers for her birthday, which did bugger all to provoke any return of affection. Bitch!" (breams)

"Been there, doing that, will probably be doing it forever. It seems to be my style." (michael grant)

"I've always been in unrequited love. I always fall in love with the wrong girl" (fernando)

"A couple of times. What a STUPID idea." (mandee may)

30. Write a poem! now! Yes, here!

Lots of people said "I can't write poems," or "here's one but it's rubbish".

Oh, muse, desert me now?
In my hour of need - How? Poetry with no inspiration
Dead and flaccid - a DNR patient.
Caitlin, you asked me to write
How can I when each word is a fight?

(salako)

Wanting, sex, assertive ways,
knowing how to fix a shelf
These are the things I duck, lest I
Fall helplessly into a self

(The_Boy_G)

poetry
is too often
written by people
whose talents

lie elsewhere

(ian)

exp(i*pi) = -1

(gina)

sunday morning
cup of tea
i love my life
because im free

(scooby)

Babylon 5 is good
So is Buffy
I am a geek

(Cheesybun)

With thinning lips and paling hips
and all the ribbons that she kept.
I looked at her as she turned away,
and smiled as she wept.

(marisa)

hi. my name is mike,
i dont own a bike.
this is sinister,
i'm not left-handed.

(michael grant)

And undeniably, straight out into trenches
and coin-holes and norwithstanding a couple of guys
there were millions

(mandee may)

i fell in love
i fell in a hole
i fell out
i fell flat
i fell down
i felled a tree

(idleberry)

This is dedicated to that Greek girl named Zoe
who brought to Sinister her stricken tales of woe
of all the loneliness on this list she has felt
with the sucky geography hand she's been dealt.
Of course, I don't share this opinion of chagrin
Nor do I have trouble keeping my feelings in
Here, you might end up with your dream or an aged wife
But when I consider myself and my life
I just can't help but think that without a doubt
there's no fence high enough to keep you damn phreaks out.

(Millkmaid)

O nostra vita, ch'e si bell' in vista
You starve me in so many ways
But still provide good pizza...

(s_gazzetti, with apologies to Petrarch)

I saw a man with hairy knees
Lying naked amongst the trees,
But when I moved within his sight
He disappeared, giving me a fright

I hurried to the spot where he
Had lay upon till half-past three
For at the time he'd disappeared
And left a note saying: "Ken was 'ere".

(breams)

Funny how there was a time
When you merited a mention
On my calendar for your birthday
And now, many years later,
It no longer appears,
Yet I stll think of you on that day

(melmoz)

DTI enquiries, can I help you
Can I help you? Can I save you?
Can you help me? Would you want to?
Didn't think so. Please hold the line while I try to connect you
To connect you to the answer
To the question that you asked me
On the state of British exports
Or the state that I am in

(Bapps)

Oh oh, what a questionnaire
Mine surely won't be the best-ionnaire
Cause I had to look up 'unrequited'
Yet 'tis the best thing I've ever writed

(lucyla)

this is not a poem
and this makes no sense
to you
or me

this is about nothing
you don't know
about you
or me

(vansie)

I Held you in the sun, but you let me go
And I Played with you in the shade, but it was too cold
I Captured your endless beauty in the lend, and that I'll have forever

(Salp)

the webpage you seek
alas! cannot be displayed
try posting instead

(Aruni)

And finally: have you ever done it?

Lots of people - including me - didn't seem to know how to answer this. Some people wrote lots. Most people just said "yes" or "I think so". The best answer, though, was from Fernando. It was also his answer to the previous question, and it's the best way I could think of for ending this page. You might disagree with some of the answers, but I hope the whole thing makes you grin.

Is it sex? Then yes!
Is it sex on a beach? Then yes!
Is it sex in the wood? Then yes!
Is it sex in a public place? Then yes!
Is it sex in a public place with an audience? Then yes!
Is it sex with a minor? Then yes!

Is it sex with a man? Then no!
Is it sex with an animal? Then no!
Is it sex with a tree? Then no!

Is it sex with love? Then no!
Is it kissing with love? Then no!
Is it touching with love? Then no!

Is it light drugs? Then yes!
Is it heavy drugs? Then yes!
Is it drinking so much until I fell on the sidewalk, crapped my pants, and god only knows how I got home? Then yes!

This is the answer
To the next question